Disciplined Indulgence

Adventures in Math

2012-02-21T08:19:00.000-08:00

Week 1 Recap of Math 10

Saint Mary’s of California

LEAP Program

First of all, ya gotta love a class with a text book named

Succeed with Math: Every Student's Guide to Conquering Math Anxiety

Just like a good trail run, I may not get things done as fast as everyone else, but I will embrace my weakness, celebrate my strengths, learn things along the way, and enjoy the journey as I tackle my

First Math class since 1988!

Over the years, I have come to love the thrill of embracing a challenge. Physical challenges have become something I seek, and thrive off of. I have experienced, survived, and have learned from many emotional experiences. However, academic challenges have always proven to be the most intimidating to me...especially Math.

I was really NOT looking forward to spending 4 hours each week for 10 weeks being reminded what it feels like to NOT be very good at something.

With the way I was dreading having to attempt Math at a collegiate level, no one would believe I was once considered an AP (Advanced Placement) Math Student.

I’m not entirely sure if an AP Math Class is where I was supposed to be, but I had placed in the 90-95 percentile for Math on my CAP tests (California Aptitude Test) before entering junior high. I am not sure if they still do these tests, but back-in-the-day we all had to take the tests and the tests determined the type of classes/levels we would take. So, as I entered 7^th Grade, I was officially and AP Student in Math, English, and Science.

I had started out doing very well in the AP Math Classes, but by the time we got to Algebra I was a very sick kid. I had missed 84 school days that year due to bronchitis, pneumonia, strep, scarlet fever, and sinus infections.

Hmm, amazing I didn’t get scurvy, rickets, or the plague!

Missing so much of the in-class instruction made it impossible for me to keep up with the class. Interestingly, I was able to ace all my AP English and Science classes during that time. Sadly, I failed my first attempt at AP Algebra in the 7th grade so I had to take AP Algebra again in 8^th grade...and on the second attempt, I got a D+.

So I had to take Algebra again in 9^th grade.

Algebra for the 3^rd time! I was humiliated.

All my “smart” friends were now taking Trig in 9^th grade. I not only had to re-do math, I was going to be placed in the “stupid kids” Algebra class. Ya know, a non-AP class.

I’m not entirely sure why math just didn’t translate from a book to my brain back in those days, but after last night’s class, I realized that if I am guided through the process and DO the process while attending to continuity, I can almost feel comfortable with basic problems.

I liken it to following a baking recipe or executing proper ballet technique before progressing to other forms of dance...if you do not have the absolute basics, things fall apart when you try to progress faster or father than poor/inadequate training will support.

This class is covering pretty much everything I never learned or don’t remember

Week 1: Exponents and Order of operations.

Week 2: Fractions.

Week 3: Ratios, Proportions, and Percent.

Week 4: Algebra.

Week 5: More Algebra.

Week 6: More Algebra and Graphing Lines.

Week 7: More Graphing Lines and Trigonometry.

Week 8: Statistics.

Week 9: More Statistics.

Week 10: Our Final Exam!

Each class is a little over 4 hours long on Monday nights.

We meet in Little Tokyo in DTLA from 6:30-10:30pm.
The professor totally understands us freaked-out dancers.
Most of us have not done math in at least 20 years!

He is really patient, and it’s totally obvious that he really does want us to "get it."

The 4 hours actually went by really fast.

Looking forward to next week!

YOGA: What do You Think about the "How Yoga Can Wreck Your Body" Article?

2012-01-23T18:35:00.000-08:00

What do You Think about the

"How Yoga Can Wreck Your Body” Article?"

Do you have an opinion about the New York Times article,

"How Yoga Can Wreck Your Body” published on January 5, 2012

I love the article because it has gotten many people discussing the injury potential that comes from attending classes lead by inexperience or careless instructors. I think the title was brilliant because it made people LOOK, and read. It was an intelligent move to get more people to read the article since anyone who would like to write-off yoga due to a bad experience or injury stemming from yoga would have most likely passed on reading an article with a “positive” headline.

Hopefully after reading the article, anyone who had a negative experience with yoga may become interested in trying yoga again, armed with a little more information on how to find a decent instructor and to become more connected with themselves by listening to their body.

Sadly, not every Yoga teacher is like Black. All but one of my clients that came to me with shoulder, lower back, wrist, and hip issues due to yoga were those who had been taking Bikram classes. There were several Bikram studios near where I trained my clients. Some of the studios had fairly knowledgeable instructors; however there were many teachers who had no other background with yoga, human anatomy, or injury prevention. Many had no other knowledge or certifications other than what their Bikram certification offered.

Many first time participants of yoga trust that an instructor has the experience and knowledge to considerately conduct/"teach"/guide a class, and assume the instructor knows how to identify and address the physical limitations/history of activity/lifestyle of the participants in attendance.

The type of clientele the Bikram reputation tends to attract are high-intensity, hard working people who come from the no-pain-no-gain mind set, trying to “find” yoga and bring some balance and clam into their lives. There are also a large number of people who have a tendency towards self abusive behavior that gravitate to such classes in hopes to cure or cleanse themselves of such behavior. It is especially important with these demographics that there be a well trained, confident, and considerate instructor available to help guide such participants to embrace the benefits of a thoughtful and physically and emotionally empowering practice.

The mixture of an over-heated room and a person with an intense and competitive mindset can set a person up to go beyond their limitations.

It takes an attentive and confident instructor to help guide these participants in the right direction. A considerate and knowledgeable instructor is not always easy to find. Many of the best Bikram teachers hold several other certifications and continue to practice with other teachers and take classes at different facilities in order to continue their education and inspire themselves in order to inspire and educate anyone who comes to their classes. J

Another factor to take into account when trying to minimize the risk of injury to participants in a yoga class is the instructor’s ability to make corrections.

Some participants do NOT want to be corrected, guided, or addressed, even if what they choose to do in class is potentially injurious. Unfortunately, these participants limit a considerate yoga instructor’s ability to minimize the risk of injury for fear of complaints and even law suits.

Thank goodness I teach privately, which gives me the power to excuse anyone from class if they refuse to practice safely-within their bodies limitations and only progressing when appropriate. I will NOT let anyone injury themselves on my time, they are free to do that elsewhere, since there are many facilities that have instructors that are happy to ignore technique and good judgment.

I would love to hear your opinion on the article, and how you ensure your own safety while participating in yoga classes, or how you ensure the safety of your clients when leading a class.

Wishing y'all a Happy, Healthy, and Injury-Free Day!

WARNING: Running can be Humiliating!

2012-01-23T17:47:00.000-08:00

WARNING: Running can be Humiliating!

WARNING: This post contains TMI, foul language, and other uncomfortable scenarios. Read at your own risk.

Imagine this: A fieldtrip. The school group has reached Crystal Cove State Beach in beautiful sunny, southern California. There are 3 bus loads of kids and parents lined up to use 2 outhouses before setting out on a hike.

Now, imagine a female runner who is 3 miles into a wonderfully intense 12 mile hill run. She is feeling really good and strong, so she pushes it even harder. A smile of pride, excitement, and happiness is beaming across her face. She is propelled by this feeling of physical validation. She is really pushing the limit of her physical ability. She rarely has the time to do anything over a combined 7-12 miles a week and almost never pushes for speed. She is thrilled with how well her other training has done her body good. She is humming to herself and almost giggling, still smiling, so happy.

Then the smile is gone.

The smile has been replaced by an expression that would probably come across a person’s face if they were being encouraged to kick a sack of puppies or kittens.

She checks her Garmin, “Oh WOW a 7:46 pace for almost 4 miles! Yippee!!!” She almost forgets for a moment why the smile had left her face. Her average fast pace is about 8:30 on a flat course, and that is still usually a challenge for anything over 4 miles. It is easy to see how the thrill of this unexpected accomplishment on a hilly course could have distracted her from how her body was feeling.

She has never been one to train for speed. She enjoys distance at a relaxed, mellow pace for the sheer enjoyment of using her two legs and breathing fresh air.

As an opportunistic runner whose physical, personal, and professional obligations are not conducive to traditional marathon training, she makes the most of any chance she gets to add some miles into her weekly schedule.

On a day she feels well rested, and especially fit, she will choose to either challenge her speed or her distance depending on time constraints, weather, and whim.

On this day, all is going great so she is challenging everything…until her body reminds her once again why the smile has left her face.

She has experienced this feeling several times before. She remembers the 2 times last year as she was training for Big Sur (she is training for Big Sur on this day) that she felt something similar, yet not so intense nor persistent…

“Oh no.” she knows what the problem is. She thinks she can handle it. She taps into all the breathing techniques she knows. This has helped each time she’s been in this situation. “This feeling should be gone by now” she thinks to herself, as she tries not to panic. “Oh fuck.” The breathing really isn’t helping. This feeling has never been so intense before. “Oh shit.” The diaphragmatic breathing isn’t helping to sooth the situation. “Oh fuck!” Visualization and relaxation techniques are not helping. “Oh no…” she audibly whimpers “…oh, fuck...I’m gonna crap my pants…”

: (

Now, imagine this poor runner realizing the nearest bathroom/outhouses are more than a mile away. She starts running faster which only makes matters worse…

She twice almost scampers into the bushes along Pelican Hills resort but each time she attempts to take cover and take care of business, a golf cart maintenance guy drives by.

At this point she is crying.

She knows she is close to the bathrooms so the tears are not only of severe discomfort; they are partly from relief knowing the end is near.

She runs faster.

“I can make it!” She pants loudly, positively, letting her belly become heavy, trying to relax her bowels.

All the Kundalini breath work, and other kooky breathing and yoga techniques she can think of are finally paying off! The severe pain and discomfort attacking her bowels belong to someone else at this point. She feels as if she is flying, floating, sprinting…then she hits a stop light on PCH.

“OH FUCK! Fuck Me! Oh FUCK FUCK FUCK!!! MotherFucker!!! FuckShitFuckShitohFuck!” she is seething, whimpering, and audibly growling these words. The words are loud enough, or maybe the tension in her body and on her face are enough, to elicit alarm on the faces of the passengers in the car waiting to make a right hand turn. They look at her with creeped-out shock and concern.

The light turns.

She sprints across PCH and down the little pathway towards the Crystal Cove restrooms. Less than a ¼ mile to go and the hell will be over!

“…less than a mile. less than a mile…” Is her quick little breath-y mantra propelling her towards the restrooms, and then…

“NnnnnnnnnnnOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! WhatTheFUCKKKKKKkkkkkkNnnoooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!” She screams as she sees 3 bus loads of children and parents waiting in line to use the only 2 outhouses for a half mile.

EVERY head turns towards the crazy lady wearing a plaid pink, black, and grey running skirt; a pretty lululemon Run Swiftly top; a white Nike visor, and awesome Merrel Pace Glove minimalist running shoes.

APPEARNCE: Civilized.

“I’m gonna SHIT MY PANTS!!!!” she rabidly screams at the top of her lungs as she sprints towards the outhouses.

ACTIONS: Bat-ShitYoPants-Crazy!

“Kids, let the poor woman go!” The line monitor sympathetically and protectively orders as she reaches her arms out in barricade fashion to make way for the crazy lady who is now making inhumane noises between squeaks, squeals, and cries of pain and agony.

All the kids are letting out terrified screams that last for a few moments, til they realize they are not in any danger from the crazed lady. They then begin giggling hysterically and pointing at the woman who’s doing a crazed, writhing, stomp-dance and making animalistic noises.

Luckily an outhouse door swings open and a meek little girl tries to exit but is met by the loony woman. There is a brief pause til the woman pushes past and slams the door to begin over 5 minutes of sheer embarrassment that is partially concealed by all the giggling and screaming of the kids now chanting “She was gonna poop her pants! She was gonna poop her pants!”

Moral to the Story: Running can be an activity that can lead to humiliating experiences. Experiences that scare children, cause women to curse in public, and may lead to sh!tting your pants. Participate at your own risk!

Gotta funny “run” story?

I’d love to hear it!

Wishing y’all a Happy and Healthy Day!

How to NOT Teach an Indoor Cycling Class

2012-01-04T14:47:00.000-08:00

A Very Critical Review of an Indoor Cycling Class

How to NOT Teach an Indoor Cycling Class

It is not often that one hears an Indoor Cycling Class described as un-motivating, uninspiring, unwelcoming, and unsafe. Unfortunately, on a Wednesday evening in August, 2011 at the [Insert name of Large, Well-Known Fitness Facility Here] that is most likely what many participants in attendance experienced.

Indoor Cycling, also known as “Spinning,” can be a great way to enjoy a high-intensity, low-impact, cardio workout. With the right instructor, a participant can expect to be challenged, motivated, entertained, and educated all in the space of one hour. However, on Wednesday night the only thing the class provided was 45 minutes of eye-rolling and disinterest from an out-of-shape, over-the-hill instructor who didn’t have any regard for the safety of her clients, and who conveyed an attitude that she would rather be doing anything other than teaching the class.

The tone of an Indoor Cycling Class is usually set by the teacher before a class even begins. Most seasoned instructors, who take pride in the classes they teach, will make an effort to set the tone by greeting people when they arrive, as if they were greeting guests arriving to a party-with a little mood music, general interest, enthusiasm, and consideration.

It would be easy to assume, on this particular evening, the teacher wanted the hour long class to be an unwelcoming, uninspiring, and unpleasant experience. The instructor had her back to the entrance of the room while people were entering; she neglected to greet any of them as they arrived; there was no music playing before the class started; and the music still hadn’t been switched on till at least five minutes after the class was scheduled to begin. The word somber doesn’t even begin to describe the vibe of the room, the instructor’s personality, and the clients already in attendance, on this night.

The type of neglectful behavior, demonstrated by the instructor in the following minutes, would make most fitness professionals question the instructor’s credentials. Ten minutes before class was to begin, there were six people along one side of the room already set up on their indoor cycling bikes, while at least 15 bikes were mashed into a corner on the opposite side of the room. Around this time, several first-time participants arrived for class but were left standing, ignored and unassisted by the instructor, all the while being glared at by the six people already set up on bikes. Anyone in the fitness industry who is certified to teach group fitness classes, by a respected certifying body, has been educated on the importance of creating a safe and welcoming atmosphere for all in attendance. Perhaps the instructor skipped that chapter because what followed in the next few minutes would make most fitness professionals cringe.

After about 5 minutes trying to figure out what to do, one first-timer stepped up and began wrestling a bike out of the tangled mess in the corner. Once she got the bike dislodged from the jumbled heap, she fought to get the attention of the instructor who was busy hanging on the handlebars of a man’s bike, deep in conversation. The instructor looked up for a moment as the gal with the bike asked “Where should I put it?” The instructor didn’t care. In fact, her words were “Wherever you want, it doesn’t matter.” So the rest of the first timers, myself included, proceeded to shimmy the bikes haphazardly to the center of the room. Not once did the instructor offer any assistance.

It’s one thing for a fitness professional to neglect the importance of music before, during or after a class, and definitely bad form to be rude and inconsiderate, but it becomes a liability when an instructor neglects to help clients move heavy pieces of fitness equipment around a room. Considering the average weight of most indoor cycling bikes being a minimum of 114 lbs, and several of the people in attendance barely weighing as much as the bikes, the instructor’s neglect to offer any assistance is an invitation to an accident.

Once class began, it didn’t get any better than the introduction. Not once did the instructor bother to introduce herself; ask any of the first timers if they needed any help; go over any information about the bikes or what to expect from the class; nor did she go over any safety issues. The only instruction she offered throughout the class, other than reminding everyone to breathe, was to take a break or to drink some water.

When fitness enthusiasts choose to take an indoor cycling class, it’s usually because they’re looking for a challenge. Wednesday’s Cycle class was definitely a challenge. In fact, it became downright torture, an absolute test of endurance. Unfortunately, instead of challenging anyone’s physical ability, the only endurance challenge offered during this class was to see how long anyone could endure watching an instructor with terrible form and a scowl on her face as she mouthed the words to the mullet-hair-cut-inspired music from the late 70s and early 80s, or as she half-heartedly spoke in monotone while saying “Don’t forget to breathe. Drink some Water. Take a break.”

The Wed night class with this particular instructor would be hard to recommend to anyone who expects an inspiring, challenging, and enjoyable workout. Any instructor who can drop the ball in so many ways, and ignore many of the important components essential to providing an excellent indoor cycling experience, is probably without hope. On a positive note, she did finish class on time.

Head for the Hills at 10am on Monday January 2nd

2012-01-01T18:18:00.000-08:00

Hike one of my favorite trails in Orange County!

Feel free to Run, Walk, Hop, Skip, Jump, or Crawl your way

along a beautiful trail with amazing views.

Mountain bikers are welcome along the trail too.

There is a big map board at the trail head.
Pretty hard to get lost.

I will be heading off at 10am from the trail head at Coastal Peak Park off Ridge Park Road.
Click here for the Google Map Thingie to find your directions.
Parking is free and there are nice, clean bathrooms and drinking fountains.
:)
Each man, woman, and imaginary friend for themselves.
Sorry, no pets allowed on the trail.
There are endless options for distances and directions, so choose your own adventure but plan wisely.
Bring your sunscreen, water, snacks, and anything else you think will make your day enjoyable.
I will most likely do a walk/run/scamper at a turtle pace.

My buddy Efrain will most likely run like a maniac.
No matter what, just take your time, go at your own pace.

This is a totally non-formal hike. I'm not responsible for anyone. I am off the clock at 8am and will just be out there enjoying the day, and hopefully the company of others who just want to get outside, move their legs, and breath some fresh air.
However, if anyone wants to do a stretch session when you are done, bring a yoga mat and we can meet up on the grass by the nice, clean bathrooms and drinking fountains.
:)

I will most likely go kayaking after the trail, so if anyone is interested in joining me on the water, you can rent form Newport Aquatic Center or Southwind Kayak. Feel free to google the places to find them.

Happy New Year Everyone!
M
:)

Changes

2011-12-13T22:52:00.000-08:00

I haven't been posting much because I went back to school

Didn't know I went back to school?

Well, you can read about it

here

I've been writing a lot of papers!

Some of my favorites have been on how

Warm-ups Prior to Activity, Care and Conditioning of the Feet, Cross Training, and Rest and Recovery can impact The Care and Prevention of Injuries.

Feel free to click on the topics, give 'em a read, and let me know what you think.

I've also been teaching

Controlled Burn Fitness Classes

at the Fullerton YMCA on Monday and Fridays at 6am

You can find all the info on that class

here

I've also been teaching

Pedal Precision Indoor Cycling Classes

at the Fullerton YMCA on Wed at 6am

The info for that class can be found

here

And I will be teaching my

Controlled Burn Fitness Class

The Pilates Body in Glendale

every Sat at 11am til Feb

All the information about this class can be found

here

I have also been covering plenty of Yoga classes at the Fullerton YMCA and spending as much time as possible kayaking.

What have you been up to?

Super Wet and Super Fun!

2011-12-13T22:11:00.000-08:00

Finally catching up on posting now that I am on winter break.

Classes begin again in Feb.

So, here is one of the highlights since I've been gone.

PCTR

Santa Monica Mountains Ultra November 20, 2011

Drove to the start super early in the morning.
Snuggled up in the back of the 4Runner aka "The WarmMobile"
in my snuggly sleeping bag and down jacket for an hour and a half nap.
Woke up and rummaged through my stuff to find all the stuff I was gonna wear in the rain.
:)

I did the 18k and had the best time on the trails!

Someone I know said "those hills look like boobies"
; )

FYI

18.57k = 11.53 miles

18k was the Pink Loop

Got my under-clothes on.
Got my number.
Hmm, not sure where to put it since it was pouring outside and I wasnt about to poke holes in my gortex jacket.

Before the run with one of the sweetest gals ever!
Somehow this pic makes it look like a sunny day...not. It was raining and it got heavier as the day went on.

With Lori and her gang before the run.

Run was fueled by a dinner that was super-nutrient dense and delicious

4oz of Salmon, rice, and veggies eaten at 9:45pm

Hydration is the Key!

; )

Yep, I'm all about hydration...
especially when there are bubbles involved!
; )

I really want one of those coasters!
I promised if they did a 50k in Crystal Cove, it will be my 1st!
:)

Frozen toes + wet + dirty clothes =
Ingredients for a great day on the trails!
:)

Enjoyed the trails in my Tevas and a pair of socks.

Felt Great!

No breakfast.
Just 1/2 a bottle of Perrier and 1/2 a Kombucha

It was a very good day!

Good Food is Cheap and Easy and Healthy and Delicious!

2011-12-13T14:04:00.000-08:00

You are What You Eat

I guess that makes me

Good, Cheap and Easy

Healthy and Delicious!

; )

All this for only
$39.97

People who say eating healthy is too expensive are just

too darned lazy or lacking in imagination.

Fruits and Veggies are super cheap, super good for you, fill you up,

and don't require much to make them taste good.

If all else fails, just wash em, peel em, steam them if you have to, and just

EAT!

All this food lasted us (2 people) 5 days with at least 2-3 meals a day, each!
There were added grains and lean protein to most of the meals.

That's one friggin long receipt!

Imagine, if you went to a regular super market and bought that many items,

it would have cost you at least $100.
Not to mention, all the items would have come in useless packaging

(how wasteful!)

and lots of sodium, preservatives, and most likely, high fructose corn syrup!

First 1/2 of goodies' receipt

On this evening, fresh shrimp was added to the veggies which included rice

with lots of onions, green beans, carrots, and spinach.

Beautiful food, makes beautiful meals.
Look at all the colors!

Add a glass of bubbly to any meal and it becomes a special occasion.
Why wait for a holiday to celebrate saving money and eating healthy and delicious meals!?

I LOVE LEFTOVERS

especially when they look and taste this great!

$8.00 worth of shrimp made enough for the two of us to enjoy a delicious dinner
(we both had 2nds)
and have left overs for the next day!

The Perfect Center Piece!

Fruits and veggies are so colorful and will brighten any dining area.

They are also a beautiful reminder that you love and respect your health

and the health of the ones who eat your meals.
:)

Wishing y'all a life full of Happy and Healthy Meals!

-Melissa Adylia Calasanz

Controlled Burn Fitness
and

Pedal Precision Indoor Cycling Classes

Everybody's Doing It!

2011-11-30T19:25:00.000-08:00

11/18/11

Writing ELPs are great because…

They’re cool! Units! Everybody’s doing it! A reason to go to the library!

Seriously; writing ELPs are great because the process has been both personally and professionally rewarding. The ELP writing process has proven I do know more than I know, it gives me the opportunity to get some much desired academic credit, and I’ve now begun to read articles in magazines, texts, and newspapers with a whole new perspective. J

As “cool” as writing the ELPs has been, the process has been like expecting my brain to run a 2^nd marathon while doing 90 second planks every 3 miles. I’ve written papers before, I’ve run several marathons, I do planks all the time, and I’ve spent plenty of time thinking about my life, but if someone expected me to go and run a marathon while throwing in some planks, without proper training, I know I wouldn’t be a success. However, if there happened to be a college for “brain-planking-marathons” I’d sign up, take the course, and kick some “brain-planking-marathon” bootay!

As fun as a “brain-planking-marathon” sounds, I am sure it would be about as “fun” as the ELP writing process has been…not exactly fun, but definitely rewarding! Now that the finish line is in sight, and my brain is finally realizing that all the hard work and trust in the process is paying off, I’m beginning to realize:

I CAN do it!

Though writing the ELPs has been challenging, the process has been reflective, enlightening, humbling, and helpful for what I intend to be doing professionally in the future. The process has helped me hone much needed organizational skills for conveying information and putting my ideas into focus, along with affording me a lesson in time efficiency.

Another enjoyable, yet totally unexpected, side effect of the ELP writing process is I now have a better understanding why I prefer some articles compared to other that I read in health, fitness, and running magazine. The most enjoyable articles are the most organized ones; they possess an air of professionalism and authority, without being stuffy. I’ve noticed many of the articles that flow with ease, have clarity, and follow a Kolb-esque format. The articles have the ability to hold an expert’s interest while engaging a recreational enthusiast. That’s exactly the type of writer I want to be. J

Thinking about why it’s great writing ELPs, made me realize, the discomfort the process brought in the beginning, is now beginning to bring me almost as much enjoyment as a really great workout:

Starting the process is the hardest part, getting down to business and writing is a test of confidence, strength, and endurance, I don’t exactly enjoy doing it, but I’ve felt a deep sense of pride and satisfaction each time I’ve completed one. J

“Hard work, a little discomfort, humbling realizations of weakness...Must remember it will all be worth it. Move your body, exercise your mind, challenge yourself and thank the people who support you.”

-Melissa Adylia Calasanz

-Melissa Adylia Guteirrez

Learning Process Paper from PPA LEAP100 Course

"The Process" can be a Rabid Monster!

2011-11-30T19:20:00.000-08:00

10/10/11

Everyone has weaknesses; finishing the last ELP was mine. Or so I thought. What the heck is my problem?! “Trust the Process…” My A**!

The process mocked me! It tormented me! It was a nightmare! I obsessed over it! It was more personally humiliating than crying in class. Really?...

"The Process"

; )

The moment I sent ELP #1, the obsessing began again.

I thought I had given myself permission to send “ten pages of crap” after I spent over six hours thinking “I just couldn’t make it come together.” I was obsessing about clarity, credibility, and the peer review. However, my obsessing was more a symptom of something much deeper. Anger! Frustration! Helplessness! Something I didn’t realize till we were reviewing my paper in class. I was trying to control a paper that really didn’t need any strong-arming, because I am losing control.

I spend so much of my life taking care of other people’s bodies, with the care and consideration I give my own. I am the cheerleader, the motivator, the inspiration to so many people. No one sees my weaknesses. I refuse to show them to the public; why burden others when I am certain they have enough baggage to deal with too. However, on Monday night’s I find myself an open book-basket case, crying for no reason.

Perhaps it’s the odd, intimate anonymity the PPA class provides that gives me the venue to be a blubbering mess. No one in the PPA class has any expectations of me, except for me. None of my peers know of my accomplishments, failures, hopes, or dreams. I am just that girl who sits in the same seat each week. It’s comforting, knowing that no one there expects anything of me. It’s liberating knowing I can just be human, weak…no one will judge me because they don’t care, but…I NEED someone to care! Not the students; I don’t need them to care about my papers, my education, my past, or my future. I need a doctor! A doctor who will give a shit about me the way I’ve cared about my clients. A health care practitioner who will follow up, show concern, check in and see how the tests are going or let me know any findings.

What does this have to do with class? Well, it was while reading my paper at the same time the others were reading it. I read it through their eyes: Unbiased, and without expectations. Halfway through reading it, I felt a bit of pride. That was a surprise! It felt good. I really do know my stuff, have tons of experience, and nothing but success with my clients. How great is that?! Well, it’s great, but then I began to feel sad…then mad.

I’m mad! No matter how well I have cared for my body, something is wrong and I can’t find a health care provider who gives a shit! The doctors are perplexed when they see me, send me off for more tests, but do they ever check in to see how I am? Do the show concern? Hell no! They don’t give a shit! And it pisses me off!

The bottom line is that the last class, the peer review, and the paper brought to my attention that I do know more than I know, I did a pretty good job of conveying information, and I’m excited to integrate the suggestions from peer review into my paper. The class also made me aware that one of the main reasons I am so successful is because I CARE! I care about each client that comes to me and trusts me with their time, their health, and their future physical well-being. I am frustrated with the lack of concern that well-paid, highly capable people in the health care industry are lacking in something I take great pride in: caring about the individuals that come to them.

Yep, it’s really not about the paper, but this paper is a part of my future…

-Melissa Adylia Calasanz

-Melissa Adylia Gutierrez

Learning Process Paper from PPA LEAP 100 Course

Trust the Process...

2011-11-30T19:13:00.000-08:00

10/11/11

“Trust the process…” That is what I must do.

I have been an instructor, teacher, and motivator to many amazingly capable people over the years. My work in the health and fitness industry has put me in the position to impact many people’s lives in a positive way.

The experiences I enjoy while working in the health and fitness industry continue to reward me daily. Last night was no exception. However, I was not rewarded while working with a client or by doing some insanely challenging workout, I received my gift by realizing that I needed to practice what I preach:

“Trust the process…”

Oh, how many times have I spoken those words to my clients over the years!

Now it’s my turn to “trust the process.”

Clients come to me thinking that I have the answers they need. These people trust me with their lives. They share their secrets, their insecurities, and they are willing to have me be the witness to their weaknesses. Little do they know, it is not answers they seek from me, it is the experience of being capable of achieving what they have been too frightened to tackle. I am their guide, their mentor, and their educator; the one who will dish out tough love when they want to give up. I am the one who guides them through the process enough times till the process becomes a habit, then a lifestyle. I am the one who will be there at the finish line, and will always be available when they need help getting back on track.

Since establishing myself as a business owner, the creator of Controlled Burn Fitness, and a driving force in the health and fitness industry, not once have I questioned my knowledge, my process, or my ability to help my clients achieve their health and fitness goals. Not once have I been intimidated by training highly educated business people, peers in the health and fitness industry, or Olympic athletes. Not once have I lacked confidence while being measured up to other fitness professionals, nor have I questioned my ability to successfully convey the knowledge I possess.

So why did I have a moment last night where I was petrified?

The answer:

Because I was/am in school/college.

School/college is the one place I have failed. L

My clients’ successes give me so much pride.

I am proud, not only of their accomplishments, but I am also proud of what I have accomplished. My client’s successes are the fruit of what I have created. It is my process that they have trusted, and it is their success that validates what I do.

I have to trust the process my professor is helping me with in order to succeed in this program. I have to trust this process will help illuminate my strengths, showcase my knowledge, and nurture my ability to complete these papers.

A healthy, happy and fit lifestyle cannot be handed to a client in the form of answers. Just like I cannot expect my professor to hand me the answers on how to edit and make decisions with revisions.

Eeek!

A healthy, happy and fit lifestyle is attained through experience. Finishing the first PLAP and subtopic was a great experience-a bit frightening, definitely and education, but still, a great experience.

Nothing makes me happier than to witness my clients’ progress throughout their process, and to see them become strong, capable, and trusting in their own self worth, physical ability and discipline.

I am continually rewarded by the joy the process of positively impacting their lives always brings to me, and I trust that my professor has my best interest and success in mind while helping us through this process.

-Melissa Adylia Calasanz

-Melissa Adylia Gutierrez

Learning Process Paper from PPA LEAP100 Course

Re-igniting Fires! Stories come from experience!

2011-11-30T18:47:00.000-08:00

9/20/11

Last night’s PPA Class was a great experience.

It re-ignited a fire in me that has been sitting on the back burner for far too long. By interviewing Evan and seeing him begin to examine the journeys he’s been on, it reminded me how the process of storytelling has been so rewarding to me. It was great to witness his hesitation, and it was wonderful to be able to spur him on and let him know there are people who would want to know his story. If he writes, even a little bit, the way he talks, I know I’d want to read more! He comes across as witty, thoughtful, articulate, and humble, and I bet his stories would be captivating. I wanted to know more, I wanted to ask more questions, I was just like all the people who used to pull stories out of me.

As I was driving home from class, I began to talk to myself. I spoke out load and with confidence; telling my story as if I was sharing an adventure, the way I’ve done so many times while on planes, on trails, in campers cabins, and in communal kitchens. I’ve always had a knack of drawing people in while sharing my adventures. It always surprises me when people ask me to continue with my stories. “Tell me more…then what happened?” and “Did you ever see him again?” are questions I’ve heard so many times. Even when I’ve exhausted myself, and think there’s no way this person wants me to keep babbling about airplane sized mosquitoes, trench foot, and water spouts, they continue to ask for more.

The fascination in people’s eyes when I would tell them about where I had been, where I was going, and why I was on my way, would fuel me. The look on my captive audience’s face was so similar to the eyes of people who I used to hypnotize with my body, my movements, my ability, while I was a dancer.

There is something so powerful, humbling and exciting about being able to transport a person to places where I’ve been. Stories come from experience; my experiences have all been adventures, my adventures have all contained personal epiphanies, and all of my personal epiphanies have coincided with my wilderness adventures.

This PPA Class comes as I’m embarking on several journeys. Journey #1: I’m jumping back on the trail, of formal education, that I left a long time ago. No one ever gave me a map. I had no idea where to purchase one, but thankfully I have found my way back, thanks to much inquiry, and by surrounding myself with productive and supportive people. Journey #2: I am trying to recover from the loss of my most recent identity of being a Business Owner, after losing my fitness studio to a fire in May. This event spurred me on to pursue the LEAP Program. I had been on the fence about pursuing it, out of fear of my ability, or lack of ability, to succeed in a Formal Education program. Journey #3: Taking a Hike! I need to disappear in order to find myself. Anytime I’ve ever been on the brink of a new and intimidating personal journey, I’ve made it a point to head out on a physical, solitary adventure. I’ve found these getaways to be so helpful with gaining perspective on my intentions and expectations, and these adventures give me uninterrupted time to really map out a plan of action.

Last night’s class highlighted the fact that all of my adventures, both personal and physical, required a shift in perspective, a testing of my comfort levels, and throwing myself headfirst in to the unknown. It also proved that the process of personal exploration, required during the PPA Class, is really going to be a trip…

Can’t wait! J

-Melissa Adylia Calasanz

-Melissa Adylia Gutierrez

Learning Process Paper #2 from PPA LEAP100 Class

Looking Back to See Where I'm Going

2011-11-30T18:29:00.000-08:00

9/24/11

Three years ago, I felt I had finally come to where I was supposed to be. I was a proud business owner; I loved my clients and couldn’t wait to start each day. I had finally come to terms that I was content with being single and that I had achieved as much as anyone, with my familial, cultural, and educational background, could achieve.

I am happily aware that I am still in the process of learning about myself. I’m realizing, learning about myself will always be an adventure. Just look up “Adventure” in the dictionary! It’s defined as “an exciting or unusual experience; it may also be a bold, usually risky undertaking, with an uncertain outcome.” The only thing certain about this process is, the day I stop writing my Developmental Autobiography will be the day that I die.

It’s been a bit overwhelming to realize how much emotions were stirred while re-visiting my developmental journey. I have a tendency to become overwhelmed with too much information, too many options, and without clear direction. When investigating my past, I realized there is so much tied into my relationships with my ability to learn, my relationship with dance, my desire for adventure, and my desire for a stable and loving home. It’s the relationships I have with those components that have gotten me to where I am today, embracing yet another adventure.

I had no map and no one was asking me for directions when I embarked on my personal journey towards being a Fitness Professional, Business owner, and Wife. I had spent much of my life waiting for the future to happen to me, or the end to come. I was content either way. I had no regrets, and figured that my life had already been filled with so many wonderful adventures that I should not want for anything else.

Looking back, just 3 years later, I know I was trying to convince myself that I shouldn’t want form more. I’d been fortunate enough to have experienced glorious amounts of romance during my traveling days. Kisses atop glaciated mountains in Tasmania; 2 gents at one time following me across the country trying to win my affection; flights to Las Vegas for amazing 13 course meals and Jimmy Choos, songs written for me; dishes made for the menus of amazing restaurants in order to woo me; a fine man who hiked 15 miles to bring me a bottle of wine and then sent a Coast Guard boat to bring me back to the island the next week for my dream meal. I knew that none of the married women I knew could say they had experienced such romance. But I wanted more.

I secretly yearned to share a home with a wonderful man who would inspire me, grow with me, challenge me, and be happy eating the wonderful meals I would be cooking with the beautiful things that I would grow in our garden. I had been convinced by my peers that I had set my standards too high and that I would never find anyone who would live up to the expectations I had set for a husband. Many people said that I was setting my sights too high in order to set myself up for failure. Most of what they said I believed was true, because part of me believed that I wasn’t worthy of a man who would be deserving of such a great woman. I never really felt worthy of pursuing the type of man I wanted. Even though I knew I’d be wonderfully loving, devoted, and hardworking, I felt inadequate for not having completed college.

Having been a successful Fitness Professional for over 10 years and by becoming a business owner, many people had assumed that I did have a college education. All of my clients and Fitness Professionals who have read my bio and resume are aware of all my well respected certifications. Many assumed I also had a degree. It was not until I had announced I was going to be enrolling in the LEAP Program that I found out how others perceived me. Many of my clients wondered why I wanted to get another degree. Many of them assumed that I already had a Sports Medicine or Kinesiology Degree considering the knowledge I possessed and the success they had achieved while I’ve been their Personal Trainer. I was flattered with the impression they had of me, and happy with how satisfied they are working with me. But instead of feeling proud, I felt like a fraud.

When I told them I had not completed college, they figured it was because I was a professional dancer. I’ve had no problem letting them believe that. Sadly, the truth is that even though dancing is one of the most demanding things anyone can ever do, it was actually the easy way out for me. The mere idea of trying to go back to college was more frightening than the idea of juggling rabid bob cats.

I’ve always found learning and retaining information to be a very challenging, although rewarding, endeavor. My outward confidence; my ability to articulate ideas and convey information as a well respected, knowledgeable Fitness Professional and (now former) Business Owner; and my broad range of knowledge, betrays the fact that I’m lacking in formal education. It has not been my lack of enthusiasm to seek knowledge that has kept me without a degree, but it has been my lack of degree that has left me with a lack of confidence. I did go to college for a time, but I did not stay long enough to get a degree. I pursued a dance career, but to be completely honest, I really didn’t know what else to do.

I was always on the move but never had a clue where I was going. I had barely realized that I had graduated from high school when I found myself enrolled, with a full course load at Glendale Community College, thanks to the Fine Arts Grants my Photography and Ceramics teachers had applied for on my behalf. I’m sure most kids would have been jumping for joy at this opportunity, considering the praise they would have gotten from parents, family, and friends. Sadly, I had none of those things. The Grandmother who had raised me had suffered a stroke a year earlier, and my mother had gone off the deep end, leaving me with nowhere to live. This situation didn’t leave much for celebration, nor did it help to give me any direction. Not once was I asked by my family, “What do you want to be when you grow up.” I had never considered an option, any options. So when the scholarships came my way, I went to college, but with no clue where I was going.

Not once did anyone suggest I see an academic counselor; I didn’t even know they existed. I was just told to enroll in all the required Fine Arts classes. So I did. Not once did anyone ask how I was supposed to complete these classes while living on my own, working 40 hours a week, managing a retail store in the Glendale Galleria. Not once did someone ask how I was going to manage my time between work, studying, and classes, while not having a car, and not having any roommates, friends, or family to help.

I appeared to have it all in the eyes of my living-at-home fellow students. Looking back, I can see why no one bothered to ask. I’m sure they figured I knew what I was doing, because I was doing it. Little did they know, I was failing. Not just my classes, but personally too. I felt so lost, and so out of control. I had no idea how life was to be done. I knew how to pay bills, how to get up and go to work, and cook great meals, thanks to my Grandma being an excellent example of great work ethic. But sadly, no one prepared me for college and living alone. No one in my family had done that. Still, no one in my family has done any of this, except for me. I was so young, and so alone, and so badly wanted to still be taken care of, but that was no longer an option.

When I realized that I was not going to succeed in the college classes I had enrolled in, I didn’t want to admit it. No one knew but me. I still appeared to be such an “adult.” I had a great job, by the standards of an under 21 year old college student. My bills were paid, I had freedom, I had dates, I had paid to put braces on my teeth, and I could come and go as I pleased. I was independent; something my Grandmother took great pride in. My Grandmother, a very hard working immigrant from Mexico City, who was proud to become an American, and worked for Lockheed for over 20 years, always stressed how important it was to never depend on anyone, especially a man. She was so proud to be the first (and only) woman in our family who got a divorce, lived on her own, and cut her hair, so “I would never be a stupid, subservient, wet back.” I wanted to be as independent as my Grandma since she was no longer around to enjoy her freedom.

I may have been independent, but really, I was just alone. What I really wanted was to feel confident, safe, and happy. I needed some direction. I wanted some direction. I wanted to feel confident, competent, I wanted a home…I wanted to go back to dance class.

Some could easily call it a regression to go back to a safe place. I like to think it was a brilliant survival instinct! What I was really craving was direction and discipline. A great dance program definitely delivers that! Most college students can’t wait to be on their own, but I was on my own without choice, at age 17. When college and my new independence became tough, I craved the structured atmosphere that I remembered from when I was young. I started skipping my academic classes and started going to Ballet Classes instead. I loved the discipline and the learning process. You don’t think, you “DO.” I loved being told what to do. I didn’t have to think, I just had to do well and all was right with the world. By giving up all the control in the dance studio, it gave me the power and the confidence to take control of my life for the first time ever. Or so I thought.

Dance also gave me the perfect substitute for an intense personal and physically rewarding relationship, which was perfect for someone who couldn’t afford to get too close to anyone. I thank dance for keeping me out of “trouble.” Dance class was the parents that I never had. In a dance class I had demanding, disciplined, and beautiful ballet mistresses who were confident and elegant and gave me plenty of attention. In ballet classes I had handsome dance masters that were masculine, demanding, yet unattainable. Dance was the easiest hard thing I have ever loved to do. I danced when I was happy, I danced when I was sad, I danced when I needed attention, and I danced when I wanted to be alone. Dance was my lover, my mentor, and my teacher. Dance became an adventure.

I have always been drawn to adventures. Since I was a young girl, I was always reading adventure and survival stories. I loved reading about new cultures and exotic places; different countries, food, drink, religion, and rituals. As I became a stronger dancer, more doors opened and I was exposed to new styles of dance, new cultures, new rituals, just like in the adventures I had read about. But I was never completely satisfied exploring these new experiences through dance. It was as if I always had a chaperone, and couldn’t really let go to enjoy the journey. Looking back, it was if I were an adolescent finally wanting to leave the nest. I wanted to spread my wings and explore the horizons. I wanted to explore the world without my parents. I wanted an adventure away from dance.

The transition was difficult; probably more difficult than leaving the nest of parental figures. By this time, dance was not only my family structure; it was my identity, my income, my excitement. At this point dance was becoming my torment. I still loved dancing but I knew that dance careers are short lived. I also knew I wanted something more.

Dance had been the vehicle to so many wonderful life experiences and it had become a great excuse for why I had not finished college, but it was also keeping me from enjoying other things. It was around this time when I became aware that short lived dance contracts weren’t good for setting up great patterns for cultivating lasting relationships. Three months here. Six months there. Hello Goodbye.

Life was beginning to feel a bit creepy and impersonal. I was always keeping boyfriends at arm’s length because the contract could end at any time and I didn’t want to have to deal with goodbyes. Yet, I wanted more. But part of me knew that the “more” I wanted would be a shame to the Grandma I missed and loved so much. I wanted a relationship with a wonderful, respectable man, I wanted to have a stable home, I wanted to cook and care for the ones I loved. I knew I couldn’t have the “more” if I kept the dance. And if I had the “more” I wanted, it would disgust the memory of my Grandmother.

Then, dance was gone. Just as fast as my Grandma was. I was injured. I felt that dance had sent me divorce papers. As if I had been thinking of cheating on it and it found out. I hadn’t planned on my dance career being over before 30. I wanted to tell dance “I take it back! I wasn’t going to leave you! Give me at least 5 more years! Please give me another chance!” But just like when my Grandma had her stroke, I had no choice. Dance was gone, and so was my career, along with my identity, and my income, and my comfort. But this time, I had something else. I had passion, I had savings, I had my work ethic, I had my personality, I had experience and I had freedom. I had the freedom that comes with choice. I chose to be alone.

My solitude lasted a very long time. About 5 years. I learned a lot during that time. I learned to slow down, I looked before I leapt. I started making decisions vs scrambling for the next life preserver. I started spending more time alone in the wilderness. I learned to be still, to be quiet; to observe. When I would come back to reality and spend time with people, I would hold onto the stillness that I found when outside; it gave me the calm and clarity to observe others. I learned from others successes and failures. I chose to observe the people who had the lives I most wanted.

I began working more hours as a kayaking instructor and wilderness guide. These days were relaxed and enjoyable. One day lead into the other with ease. I had gotten my CPR certification followed by taking an intense 10 day, 80 hour Wilderness Medicine Course, which opened more doors for me to begin guiding multi-day kayak camping trips, and leading hikes and fitness classes for wealthy people who also paid for my fitness certifications. I began creating custom Moonlight Kayak trips for several kayak companies in the Midwest, which included gourmet wine and cheese pairings. I decided that I was going to enjoy these adventures until I figured out what I would do next. I had no idea until about 5 years later that I was already living part of my dream.

The process of writing this paper helped me to see where I made some exciting steps in my personal growth; steps that I am really proud of, and have gotten me to where I am today. I can really see where I brought my dreams and abilities into reality, when I began placing some value on the things I desired. I can see where I finally gave myself permission to strive for the things I valued and desired most.

Three years ago, I had a friend who I used to think was out of my league. I valued his work ethic; he was athletic, handsome, and so fun to be around. We also had the best group of friends in common. It was around this time that I had grown happy and content with my life, and my accomplishments. I loved having him as a friend. His approval meant nothing to me in a romantic sense since I had already come to the conclusion that I was passed the prime of being desirable as a wife, especially for such a wonderful man. One night, while out with our gang of friends for a celebration, I decided to give him a kiss. I knew I’d be able to blame it on the champagne if it backfired. We went on our first date two days later. We were married on July first of this year.

The day after I began to write this paper, I left on a two day adventure. I knew the miles would bring movement to my body, stillness to my doubts, and clarity to my mind. I have grown to depend on these miles when I need them the most. My times alone in the wilderness have never failed to bring me to a new awareness.

I’ve enjoyed over 18 years of solo adventures and I never once understood people when they spoke about being homesick. I would usually just dismiss their sentiments as a sign of weakness, or I came to the conclusion that they were boring people who couldn’t be happy alone. I still believed that until Thursday night.

I smelled like a dirt bag, with random tan and sunburn lines, and a big bruise on my behind. I had just completed a little over 38 miles of Hiking in 2 days, with over 8000ft elevation gain. I had also lost over 4lbs. These accomplishments are usually enough to make me feel as if I had enjoyed a thoroughly productive day on one of my adventures. But something was missing. I decided to walk down to the beach at sunset. I figured, “What’s another 2 miles after 38?” I was really missing my husband and was hoping he enjoyed the meals I left for him before I left. I looked down and found a tiny leaf shaped like a heart. I started to cry. I was homesick for the first time in my life.

I've lived alone since I was 17, it was always just me. When I used to go away there was no one waiting for me, missing me, loving me, and hoping for my safe return. There was nothing to miss. I was leaving nothing behind.

I had left on this adventure hoping to find some academic confidence and clarity in order to help the revision of the paper I had written the night before. Instead, what I found is what I was hoping for all of my life. What I have been working so hard for and didn’t even realize until I was typing it out and crying.

I have a home. I have the man I respect, love, and have always wanted. We work hard, we support each other, we deserve it, and it feels so good. J

-Melissa Adylia Calasanz

Developmental Autobiography for PPA LEAP110 Course

I Love an Adventure

2011-11-30T18:06:00.000-08:00

10 Weeks ago, I set off on an exciting journey.

An academic Journey.

I enrolled in the LEAP Program via Saint Mary's College of California.

About 10 weeks ago, I began my third class; the Personal and Professional Assessment Leap100 Course, where each student has the opportunity to challenge 4 upper division courses by writing papers that prove our expertise in several subjects.

I was assigned Kinesiology, Sociology, Psychology, and Small Business Administration.

In my last post I had stated that I would be posting tid bit on my experiences during the course. Well, I've been a bit overwhelmed with all the papers, so I'll go ahead and post some of the "free write" LPPs (Learning Process Papers) that we were assigned each week after attending each class.

FIRST WEEK

We were told to write about any fears or concerns we had about the PPA course.

Keep in mind, this is a program where 18 former/current professional dancers are enrolled every 18 months. Many of us had not completed college when our professional dance careers had taken off, and most have not been in school for over 20 years.

9/13/11

I love an adventure, and I thrive on exploring the unknown. It is why I travel. It is why I explore my physical and mental limits by going on endurance solo-backpacking and solo-kayaking trips, climbing expeditions, and humbling myself by doing marathons.

Sitting in the Newport Public Library, on a perfectly sunny day, trying to find something to be frightened of, or concerned about, regarding the PPA Class is becoming a pleasant challenge. I know I signed up for an adventure when I enrolled in the LEAP Program, and I am certain the PPA Class will deliver an excellent adventure.

The rumors I’d heard about the PPA class, from fellow LEAP students, had painted the weeks ahead to be filled with some of the most challenging assignments that I would encounter during my time in the LEAP Program, due to the demands of writing so many papers, in so little time.

Had I been given this assignment the night before I attended the first class, I would have written many pages about my fears and concerns regarding my ability to endure the rigors of what was to come. The rumors were so vague regarding what I was going to have to write for the assignments, that I couldn’t help but feel a bit insecure, since my last attempt at a “scholarly” paper, for my Kinesiology class, was a disaster.

My fears were put to rest after attending the first class, last night. All I can feel is excitement! I feel as if I am getting ready to go on an adventure, one that I’ve been putting off for so long; putting off because, as with all journeys, I know I will have to say goodbye to the old me once I come to the end of the road. I guess that can be a little frightening. I am human, and I am not immune to sentimentality.

It is not always easy to say goodbye to the old to make room for the new. I have done it so many times, but this time I get something more valuable than just a stamp in my passport, life lessons, and stories to share. At end of this journey I will receive validation via Course Credit towards my education. And this adventure doesn’t even require a map! I get to explore me! I get to revisit the old me. I will get a chance to really see how it contributed to the “Me” I am today, and how it will influence the “Me” I will be someday.

I am excited this class will give me an opportunity, the permission, to discover the sum of all my parts. For some that can be frightening. For me, it is what I crave. I love a good adventure, and this adventure is a welcome challenge; a test of endurance and discovery, that I am sure will be filled with many highs and lows; an adventure that will leave me a new person once I come to the end of the journey. A journey that will be all about me, what I am, what I have been, and what I will become. I look forward to this intense, enlightening, and most likely, humbling adventure. I will welcome it with anticipation, not fear.

-Melissa Adylia Gutierrez

-Melissa Adylia Calasanz

Back to School!

2011-10-11T16:51:00.000-07:00

Back in College after 20 years!

It’s been a while since I’ve posted on the Disciplined Indulgence Blog.

So much has been happening.

Many of you know about the FIRE

at The Controlled Burn Fitness Studio.

If not, please feel free to read about it.

The day of the fire, I made up my mind to go back to school!

The catch: I had less than 5 days to go through the application process which included writing several lengthy essays and hunting down old college transcripts that date all the way back to 1990 when I first tackled college before heading off and pursuing my dance career.

I’m currently enrolled in the amazing LEAP Program

(Liberal Education for Arts Professionals)

through Saint Mary’s College of California

I've already completed

KINES 17 - Kinesiology and Human Performance

I'm in the process completing

LEAP 176 - Writing for the Liberal Arts
and
LEAP 100 - Personal and Professional Assessment

For the next couple of months I’ll be sharing bits, pieces, brainstorming, and rough drafts from some of the Learning Process Papers, Experiential Learning Papers, and Developmental Autobiographies, from my Personal and Professional Assessment course; and tid-bits from my Writing for Liberal Arts Class.

I welcome any comments, criticism, and words of encouragement.

Thank y’all so much for your continued support!

Wishing ya’ll a happy and healthy day!

Life's a Trip

2011-09-20T13:37:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow marks 1 year since I created the Disciplined Indulgence Blog.

It's also the day Mister AC asked me to be his wife!

Last week, Andrew told me to "Take a Hike!"

No, he doesn't want a divorce! :) He wants me to be happy! So he's sending me away to one of my favorite places, Santa Cruz Island

off the coast of Santa Barbara

The picture above was taken on one of my solo adventures to Santa Cruz Island, about 1 months after I returned from a trip to Tasmania. You can see my little blue tent in the left hand corner

Thanks to the love and support of the amazing man I've married, I've begun to embark on several new adventures. Journey #1: I’m jumping back on the trail, of formal education, that I left a long time ago when I left college because my career as a professional dancer had taken off. I had no clue how to return to school since I had no clue how I had even gotten there in the first place-I had been given scholarships for Ceramics and Photography and no one ever gave me a map in case I decided to return. Thankfully I've found my way back, thanks to much inquiry, and by surrounding myself with productive and supportive people. Journey #2: I'm recovering from the loss of the Controlled Burn Fitness Studio due to that fire in May. This event spurred me on to pursue the LEAP Program at Saint Mary's of California thanks to Career Transitions for Dancers. Journey #3: Taking a Hike! I need to disappear in order to find myself. Anytime I’ve ever been on the brink of a new and intimidating personal journey, I’ve made it a point to head out on a physical, solitary adventure. I’ve found these getaways to be so helpful with gaining perspective on my intentions and expectations, and these adventures give me uninterrupted time to really map out a plan of action.

I want to thank you for reading this far and if you have read any of my previous posts, wow, I am humbled. There is something so powerful, humbling and exciting about being able to transport a person to places where I’ve been. Stories come from experience; my experiences have all been adventures, my adventures have all contained personal epiphanies, and all of my personal epiphanies have coincided with my wilderness adventures. The fact that you've read any of them means so much to me.

Part of my blog's title reads: "...Every Day Should be a Journey. This is Mine…”

I am so happy that you want to come along!

I invite y’all to share your journeys with me. Please feel free to post links to your blog, website, twitter, or feel free to ask any questions and post comments.

Here’s to the next year of wonderful advedntures!

Can’t wait! J

Life Lessons from My Kayak

2011-09-11T23:42:00.000-07:00

Overall, I can easily say that my life is pretty wonderful.

J
But I am human. Even I have my sad days, or moments of helplessness.

There will always be challenges and life is not always puppies and rainbows, but I am always so happy each day when I wake up and know that I still have the ability to breathe, move, laugh, smile, and make decisions for myself and care for the ones I love.

I can give much thanks to all the time I spend on the water, with my kayak, for giving me a positive outlook on life.

I can rely on the ocean to help soothe my sorrows…and to teach me a lesson, or two.

I go kayaking to make my life better, to gain perspective, and to renew my will to move forward regardless of what obstacles may be waiting for me along the way.

When the going gets tough, I go kayaking.

The moment I’m out on the water I’m reminded of how lucky I am to be able to move. Without fail, if I’ve hit the water to work out some demons, a moment of calm can override my volatility, within moments of my paddle hitting the water.

While kayaking, I am easily reminded that I cannot fight the tide. I have to go with the flow, relax, enjoy the journey...all the good, the bad, and unexpected that comes with it.

Life is very much like ocean kayaking; one cannot truly be happy when fighting the ebbs and flows of life.

When I go kayaking, I ride a fine line between control and surrender. I find this balancing act to be wonderfully invigorating and very therapeutic. While kayaking, the water is my master and I’m always aware that Mother Nature is really the one in control.

As in life, while on the water, things can turn ugly without warning and I must not fight them. If I try to fight the tide, I will exhaust myself and, in a truly challenging situation, there is a chance I may die.

I have learned many lessons about life while being challenged on the water.

I’ve learned that proper planning, my ability to be alert and connected with body & mind is essential to keeping me safe and happy while on my adventures. Knowing better not to throw myself into harm’s way by putting myself into situations that are beyond my ability is essential to my safety, longevity, well being. I also choose my kayaking companions wisely. I choose to surround myself with kind, considerate, and productive people on the water (and in life)…if they have respect for their well-being it is pretty easy to assume they will respect others.

Kayaking has taught me that if I do not take inventory of all my gear and make sure that my kayak is in great condition, I cannot expect it to keep me safe. I take care of my body the way I take care of my kayak…as if my life depends on it…my life does depend on how I take care of it.

I’m not saying everyone should go kayaking (most people are freaked out by the water) but I do encourage everyone to start moving, start taking inventory of the people they surround themselves with, take inventory of what they have been doing to and with their body.

I encourage people to get to know their body and their mind. Respect it. Stop ignoring it. There is so much we can learn when we stop trying to turn things off.

I encourage everyone find their “kayaking.”

Life is as difficult as we want to make it. J

Enjoy the ride!
J

My Official Goodbye to the Original Controlled Burn Fitness Studio Location

2011-09-06T23:22:00.000-07:00

Here's the Complete Story
with pictures!
:)

It's Official!

Melissa Adylia Gutierrez of Controlled Burn Fitness

is now offering Personal Training in the OC!

Since my relocation to the OC (over a year and a half ago), I'm finally making it official that I will no longer be accepting Personal Training Clients in the Los Angeles, Glendale, Los Feliz,
or surrounding areas.
It's time for me to share my talents with the people of Orange County!
I will continue to teach my "Pedal Precision" Indoor Cycling classes at Pedal Spin Studio in Montrose, for the time being, and I'm planning to hold some incredible workshops at the South Pasadena location in the near future.
Please stay up to date with all the Classes and Workshops via the

Controlled Burn Fitness Facebook Page

Please read on for the complete story behind my decision

and for information on
Personal Training, Private Group Fitness Classes, and Workshop
rates in the Los Angeles Area

On the morning of May 24th, 2011

I woke up at 5:15am, excited that I'd slept in past 4am on my day off.

I had planned on spending the day enjoying an early morning hike along the Morro Ridge Trail in Crystal Cove State Park followed by some quality time with my kayak in Newport Bay.

I was surprised to see a voice message on my cell phone, and noticed I had missed a call that had come in at 12:45am. All I could think was "who the heck do I know in Glendale who would be calling me in the middle of the night." It turns out it was one of the calls no business owner wants to get...it was from the Glendale Police Department. The officer said "Hello, this is the Glendale Police Department. I am calling about an incident at your business. Please call us back at this number ________. Your incident report number is________."

UH OH

I figured it wouldn't be anything too bad, Most likely just some drunk bar-fly, from The Blue Moon Lounge, passed out and fell through the window or something.
Nothing bad ever happens in North Glendale.

Wrong

Once I got a hold of the GPD, I was instructed to call the Glendale Fire Department.

I knew this wasn't going to be good

It wasn't.

I was informed that there was a fire but they wouldn't tell me what had happened or how bad the damage was. All they could tell me was "you need to get to your business now."

Well, I was not thrilled. Not only was I freaking out thinking that everything I had worked so hard for, over the last 3 years, was literally down in flames, but I now had to drive 42 miles at peak traffic hour on a weekday. Anyone who knows about heading from Orange County through Downtown LA on the 5 Freeway, knows that it is anything but fun.

I didn't shower. Didn't even think to brush my teeth (which really grossed me out about 10 minutes into my drive once I realized it-eeew!). I just put on my clothes, and barely whispered to my husband (who was still my fiancee at the time) "I have to go." He looked so confused because he knew it was my day off and I could tell he heard the stress, fear, and tears in my voice. I didn't want to worry him because there was nothing he could have done. I just told him that "something happened at the studio..."
and instantly he said "do you want me to go with you?"
(He's the best!)
I wouldn't let him.
No use in ruining his day too, when there really was nothing he could do.

I did call Miss Tina H., once I was on the road. She has been one of the most influential people in my life. She's known me since I was 17; happens to be my high-school-sweetheart's Mom; and if it was not for her, the Controlled Burn Fitness Studio wouldn't have existed in the first place. She had been my business advisor and voice of reason for many years. I may not have a biological mother who is still living, but I have Tina,
and I don't think I could ask for anyone better for keeping my head on straight.

When I arrived at the studio, things didn't look too bad

WHEW!
It pretty much looked like the photo above, which was taken on July 12th, 2008

the first week the studio opened.

Sadly, the little deli next door to my studio was pretty much burnt to a crisp.

I really thought I dodged a bullet! Things were looking up...

Until I "looked up" a little closer

UH OH

That hole wasn't there when I left the day before.

But, really, a little hole on the facade? No problem, I could deal with that!

But why was my bathroom mirror completely smashed to bits

and sitting outside, in front of the studio?

This really wasn't making any sense.

I needed to investigate...hmmm, but my key wouldn't turn the lock on the door. The door was completely mangled, and no locksmiths were open at that hour (it was only 6:15am at that point-I drove like a maniac), so I did the only logical thing a girl would do

I called My Mechanic!

Greg came right away. He used a little hatched to bust the deadbolt

and we went inside.

Turns out, the fire department had used their hatchets to pry open the door, bending the metal framing. They were kind enough to "lock" the door behind them

using the hatched to pry the framing closed.

It only cost a few dollars to fix

: /

We were instantly greeted with that distinct fire-y stench

but all looked pretty good.

Until I opened the bathroom door.

OK, now I know why my mirror was outside

Hmmm, I don't remember removing the door to the crawl-space either

or having a skylight

but it sure is bright in here

Oh, Hi Neighbor!

Aren't glory holes supposed to be a little bit lower

Well, I think I can fix that with a little re-decorating

No one will ever know, right?

; )

Looks like the neighbors decided to do a little remodeling too

Their skylight is much bigger than mine

Philly Cheese Steak, anyone?

On the Bright Side

No one was hurt.

Sadly, the little deli next door to the Controlled Burn Fitness studio was a complete loss. They had an electrical fire that started with a commercial fridge. Unfortunately, their insurance is refusing to pay and the city has been dragging their heels with the building/construction permits.

Big Decisions to Support a Happy, Healthy, and Active Life

Today is September 6th

repairs and construction haven't even begun on my unit.

That's 4 months of my life, and my business, that have been hanging in limbo.

This fire came just after I had to deal with a flood in February, which was caused by the tenant behind my studio (who is M.I.A.). The loss was below my deductible

so I had to eat the almost $800 in ruined yoga bolsters and other supplies.

Ugggg

Before the fire I had really been reevaluating my choice to keep the studio, considering that I lived 42 miles away, and the long drive was really beginning to take a toll on me.

Commuting has always been something I worked hard to avoid, yet it is unavoidable when living so far away and having an obligation to such wonderful people who make me forget about the commute

the moment their Personal Training sessions begin.

When I had opened the Controlled Burn Fitness studio, it fit perfectly into the life I had worked so hard to create. I always wanted to live within walking distance of work; I lived exactly 3.5 miles from my apt

when I signed the lease on the fitness studio.

It really was perfect.

But things change

Priorities change

Life changes

My values have not changed

I choose to live a healthy, happy, active life.

Spending an extra 9 hours a week, sitting in a car, on the crazy highways of Los Angeles, has done nothing to contribute to the life that I want to nurture.

I had become stressed, constantly tense, for 45 minutes each morning, tyring not to get clobbered by all the big-rig trucks that speed at about 85mph at 4:15am when I hit the road on my way to my morning clients. The commute home was even more miserable. If I didn't leave Glendale before noon, I would usually have at least an hour and a half to 2 1/2 hours stuck in traffic. My income was going to the gas companies, and to the upkeep uf my car. Time on the road was not allowing me to spend time on taking care of my body, my mind, or the wonderful man who was working so hard to provide us a wonderful life. I was no longer able to fit the activities I loved into my day because

I had to accommodate the commute and my clients.

I was spending my time on the road.

My body has not responded well to this life.

So I'm ending it!

The commute

The stress

The waste of time

The lack of life

It needs to end

I constantly began to think "how could I possibly continue to be an inspiring or motivating influence on my clients when I was no longer able to motivate myself

due to the choices I had been making.

I want my life back!

I need to make my life here, in Orange County, with my wonderful husband who has been so supportive through all of this. Never pushing me to give up my business, because he knows how much I loved it. Even though he's been watching it suck the life out of me, while I've been

waiting for some miracle to get it rebuilt.

Even though he knows just as well as I do that it really isn't "good business" to "run" a business from so far away. He never pushed me to stop driving up to Glendale, though he did begin to insist that

I drive his car because he feels it is safer.

I tell my clients that life is about choices

I tell them that each of us has the power to create the life we want; that we need to take care of our health and happiness in order to have

something to give to the ones we love.

I was becoming a hypocrite.

I was putting my loyalty to the health and happiness of my clients, before my own.

I was no longer leading by example.

It's been easy to put my clients first, because I love what I do. I adore my clients and value them as people, as friends, and as hard-working, impressive, and inspiring human beings.

My clients are people I am proud to know.

They are people I will miss dearly.

But they will do great without me.

They are strong...body and mind.

I have given them plenty of information to keep their bodies pain and injury-free. I know they will find others who can take care of their needs.

I am not abandoning anyone.

I will be available to be booked at least 2x per month

when it fits into my schedule.

I'm not turning my back on my old life

I'm saying hello to my future

CHEERS!

Wishing y'all a Happy and Healthy Day!

-Melissa Adylia Gutierrez

Controlled Burn Fitness

Run or Walk. Fast or Slow. It's all Good

2011-05-17T10:43:00.000-07:00

Run, Walk, Hop, Skip, Jog, or Crawl

Miles are miles

As long as you enjoyed the journey,

there is no way I will judge how you got there...

and neither should you.

: )

Sunday, May 15th, 2011

I enjoyed a rainy day, cheering on my wonderful man and many others

who were participating in the Pasadena Marathon.

Mister AC smiles while running in the rain during the Pasdena Marathon

(Gotta love the foggy/rainy camera effects)

; )

I especially love to cheer for the walkers who are nearing the finish line

becuase many of them think they don't measure up

to the runners flying past them.

Other than the regular cheering of

good job, you're almost there, and the usual, I also say things like:

"Walkers take it slow cuz it feels good-just ask their girlfriend/boyfriend"

"Walkers get their money's worth by being out there longer"

"Walkers need love too"

Everyone smiles when they hear a cheer for them especially the walkers!

However...

This little tid-bit kinda broke my heart

I was cheering on a group of runners who were speeding by,

when a group of walkers came into view.

I started cheering for them too.

I noticed they were all looking at the runners and didnt look too happy.

I said "looking good you guys, you're almost there, you should be proud!"

One woman who was wearing a 1/2 marathon bib, shook her head and said "we're just walking."

I said

"JUST?!?!"

You've just covered 13 miles!

She said

But we just walked. We didn't Run. Runners are better.

I just stood there. Stunned. Sad.

Sad she felt that way. Sad, that instead of being proud of the fact that she just covered 13 miles

(while not being a spring chicken nor being especially fit)

she decided to compare herself to the people running.

Many people I know feel pressured to Run

Thinking that as a walker, they are not "good enough".

To any runner, the following questions may appear to be silly

but to a person who isn't confident with their physical abilities or who have heard too many times things like "running is bad for your body"

(remember, running isn't bad for your body, people are bad to their body)

they are good, solid questions.

When someone comes to me and asks

How do I start running?

I want to learn to run, what should I do?

Do you think I could ever run?

I don't answer right away. First, I ask

WHY?

Why do you want to run? Is a bear chasing you? You afraid of something?

People have many reasons why they want to start running

And all that matters is that you want to start.

Everyone has different goals.

Whether you're fast, slow, go long or short distances, like roads, treadmills, or trails...as long as you enjoy it, and continue to enjoy it, just keep enjoying it!

The best way to start running

Start Walking!

Put one foot in front of the other, pick up the pace, and keep going!

Never feel pressured to run.

Some people prefer to enjoy the slow pace of walking because it affords a person the time to see, smell, and hear things

that can be missed while one is running.

Some people prefer running because of the speed, the freedom,

and the excitement.

How much, how fast, and how far you run is up to you!

Some people try it for a while and never really get into it.

Others take to it like a duck to water and you just can't stop them.

Some dabble in it whenever it fits into their schedule.

No matter what one's relationship with running turns into, there is enough room and respect on the road for everyone

as long as everyone is respecting themselves.

All that matters is that we put one foot in front of the other and enjoy every step.

-Melissa Adylia Gutierrez

Owner/Personal Trainer

Controlled Burn Fitness

Day after LA Marathon Dinner for Mister AC at Chez Calasanz

2011-03-22T20:15:00.000-07:00

Mister AC ran the LA Marathon
on Sunday for his 40th Birthday

We followed up his run with wonderful friends
and his favorite treats of pizza and chips and other goodies.
So on Monday, I decided to cook him up something healthy, and nutritious.
This meal is packed with protein, fiber, and nutrient rich goodies.

Sauteed Super-Garlicky Shrimp and Shallots

Mister AC loves pasta
All kinds of pasta.
Any shape, size, hot, cold, with sauce, without sauce...he loves pasta!
He also likes spinach (lightly steamed and chopped), and cheese (little mozzarella balls), so I decided to toss them all together with roasted baby tomatoes (in the oven at 350 with just salt and pepper till they looked good to me), shallots (raw and diced), white kidney beans (canned, thoroughly rinsed), sage (fresh coarse shopped), a hint of olive oil, balsamic, salt and pepper.
The combo made an excellent pasta salad that was both nutritious and delicious.
Had to throw in a side o Green Beans for color and texture.

Served with love
and a bottle of Prosecco from our dear friend Jessica S
(Thanks Jessica S for the Bubbly!)
A wonderful home cooked meal for my wonderful man.
Cheers!
: )
3.21.11

Random SOLO Beach Getaway Monday, Feb 28th 2011

2011-03-22T18:11:00.000-07:00

Sometime I get the urge to sleep outside

under the stars, as close to crashing waves as possible

The inside of my cozy little cocoon

next to the pretty Pacific Ocean on Monday Evening Feb 28th, 2011

My Grandma's Birthday.

Wow, my SnugPac Softie Bag that I got from Sheepleg really was

SOFT and WARM

Comfy and Quiet!

: )

Good morning!

I couldn't wait to greet the day

I poked my head out
and this is what I saw looking to my left (south-ish)

Scampered out to get a better view of the sunrise

and to see how cute my tent looked so close to the ocean.

Wasn't quite sure how my surroundings were really gonna look

since I pitched my tent at 10:30pm the night before in the dark.

Here comes the sun!

I guess I picked a pretty good spot to sleep.

: )

Looking out at The Channel Islands...Anacapa, Santa Cruz...

How I miss those Islands

Decided to head south

to read a magazine and enjoy the sound of the waves

My trusty Subaru and "The Love of My Life"
Nothing gets me to where I wanna go in better style than my Subaru
: )

Wow, we've really missed the water!

Took my bivy as close to the ocean as possible

and snuggled in for a good read and a nap.

It felt so wonderful to be so close to the water, relaxing
waiting for the sun to make it over the cliff

Saw plenty of seals playing together and pretty, graceful birds...

...but nothing beats the beauty of the ocean...

and the sunrise

The progression of the sunrise

over one of my favorite hikes.
: )

What a beautiful morning

after a peaceful night.

: )

Life is Good

: )

Soft and Cuddly or Gas Station Toilet Paper?

2011-02-24T12:45:00.000-08:00

I recently asked several of my Personal Training Clients

why they enjoy training with me and how they would describe my

Personal Training Style.

The answers were interesting, entertaining, and enlightening.

I will also add, that it reinforced the pride that I have in my Training Style.

I prefer to deliver what I also crave from a workout

Quality

Intensity

Results

I've been described as many things by friends, family, and clients

Happy
Healthy
Inspiring
Motivating
Positive
Sweet

Fun

Hyper

Interesting

Energetic
Understanding
Reliable

I've also been described as
Focused
Intense
Disciplined
Driven
Demanding
Relentless
Calculated
Detail Oriented
Humbling

When looking for a workout where you will be required to sweat and push yourself more than you can or want to do on your own

Do you prefer your workouts to be Soft and Cuddly

full of cliches and affirmations

where the instructor wipes your behind with a silk cloth

Do you prefer your workouts to be intense

all about finesse, sometimes humbling, challenging, and rewarding.

My favorite response so far

" That you are rough gas station toilet paper! And you do not put up with any of your client's complaining shit! HAHA"

And This

"we should call the workouts 'Bitch Slap!' The workout that doesn't coddle your cottage cheese, we slap if off your ass!"

Hey, I kinda like that!
; )

Funny thing is
another client responded with
"you are gentle and understanding and know what my body needs..."

Yep, my Personal Training Style is definitely
PERSONALIZED
: )
I LOVE my clients!!!
: )

Wishing y'all a Happy and Healthy Day!
-Melissa Adylia Gutierrez
Owner/Personal Trainer
Controlled Burn Fitness

Crystal Cove Coastal Run January 20, 2011

2011-01-23T00:23:00.000-08:00

This was my fourth sunshine-filled scamper

along the beautiful coast of Crystal Cove State Park in Newport Beach, CA

this time, I brought the camera

: )

Once again

I attempted to Hit the Trails of Crystal Cove/Moro Ridge

This was my 6th attempt

since the trails took a beating from the winter storms

The Moro Ridge/Pacific Ridge Trail Head was still closed

I'm really missing my trails and hills

With all the trail options

it's hard to believe that they're all pretty much closed

I was on the trails just after the rains

and it was obvious why they were closed.

Lots of land slides, huge holes...an overall big mess

: (

See pics of trail damage here

I "had to" head to the coast again to get some mileage

So I headed back to scamper along the coast of Crystal Cove State Park

for the 4th day this week

: )

I parked a mile north

of the "you are here" sign

and ran the coast to the end, by Abalone Point and back

Hmmm...

decisions, decisions...
; )

I love this little boardwalk

I've seen tons of bunnies, lizards, caterpillars, lady bugs, chubby squirrels,

and beautiful birds.

I have also heard froggy sounds

but not sure who was making them

There is so much wonderful information along the boardwalk

it's worth taking the time to read before heading down to the beach

This is the turn to head down to the beach

: )

If you stay on the boardwalk

there is a wonderful overlook of the Coastal Bluffs.

I had to get a closer look of the info

before heading to the overlook
So cool

I love seeing the little Garibaldi fish in the kelp beds

when I'm kayaking along this coast

I asked a random fella to take this dorky picture of me

before I headed to the beach for my coastal scamper.

The dude was fully camped out to enjoy the day.

Notice his chair, hiking pole, binoculars, paper...

Golly, I love this view

All that wonderfully packed sand makes running feel good.

I also LOVE

my PCTR shirt

from my favorite organized trail runs

I can't wait till Montana De Oro again!
Join us! Feb 13th!

Take the time to read these tidbits of info

It really helps one appreciate the beauty even more.

: )

Yipee!

The beach!

The wonderful sand!

I love the way this sand feels underfoot.

Just enough cushion, just enough of a challenge.

Perfect.

: )

For a gal who would rather be in her kayak

being so close to the ocean makes running enjoyable

Golly, I love it here!

Wouldn't you?

It was about 74 degrees today!: )

I could go on forever out here

I love the sound of the waves.
I can't get enough of the fresh air.

The end is near!

But I'm not in any hurry today

: )

I've paddled down to that point from the Coast Guard Beach

and had always wondered what the beach was like.
Now I know and I'm in love.
: )

I kick up my heels for running along the coast!

I bothered a sweet sunbathing couple to take this picture.
They laughed.
They smiled and waved at me as I ran by on my way back
: )

You know I'm happy when I'm kicking up my heels!

: )

At the end!

Yes, I had to kick up my heels again before heading back.

I bothered two young men who were watching their friends paddling out there.
They must have thought I was some loony tourist.

Lemme tell you one more thing

it's not easy picking up that big leg after running

and holding it up long enough for someone to take a pic...BUT CRAMP!
; D

Looking back...

: )

...before heading back.
: )

Ooops, almost forgot to get a shot of the cliff

It has given me relief from the sun each day that I have been here

It is so much cooler by this cliff

it feels so good after 4 miles to hang out here for a bit before heading back.

It almost feels as if it has it's own micro-climate

It is also were I have seen tons of dolphins.

: )

Time to take a break

This was my fourth time doing this coastal run

but the first time I decided to bring a camera, and relax.
: )

Taking a sun bathing break at Reef Point

Eeek!

Sweaty, happy gal trying to get rid of some tan lines

while taking a terrible self-pic.
; )

Ahhh!

Airing out the tootsies!

Uh oh

those ankle tan lines need some help!

Hot Diggity Damn!

This is the way to enjoy a January Day!
: )

It's January days like this that makes living in Southern California

SO GOOD!

Yes, Life is Good

: )

Would Have... Should Have... Could Have...

2011-01-09T22:34:00.000-08:00

Remembering my Mom

on this earth

45 Years

Born January 9th

Passed January 9th

I have always made it a point to go on an adventure

in your honor, on your birthday

The adventures have always included something physical (hiking, kayaking, teaching a really brutal fitness class) and have ended with a beautiful evening of fine dining at one of my favorite restaurants where I have always had them leave a place setting for you.

Yep, I'm sure I've looked totally bizarre, sitting by myself, raising my glass to an empty seat throughout those meals, but I love honoring your memory and everything you've given to me.

This year, I was way too sick to do anything

and I was really upset that I wasn't going to honor you with an adventure.

I realized that the most honorable (and scariest adventure) would be to really grab a hold of when you died and explore my realtionship with you and your life and your death and what it has meant to me

Until today, I never locked in on the year you died, nor did I ever set it in my memory how old I was when you died.

I had to ask Willie the date.

Now it's real.

And so are the memories.

You were no saint but you were deeply loved

Your life and your death, inspired me to live my life in a way that I would never say

"I would have...I should have...I could have..."

You led by example

When we were little, you were the perfect example of a healthy, active lifestyle.

You loved being a mom and we knew it.

You always made us feel loved, wanted, safe.

We ate fresh food

home cooked meals, didn't eat anything processed in our early years, and thought things like dried apricots and chewable Vitamin Cs were candy.
You would take us roller skating on the weekends

You'd take us to Trader Joes to load up on orange juice, kiefer, apricots, granola bars, and trail mix to snack on throughout the day.

You always looked so pretty roller skating

Graceful. Happy

: )

You were always so patient with us

and so willing to answer all of our questions

No matter how random or silly our questions would be, you would always give us an answer. If you didn't have an answer, you would let us know and tell us it was a good question to think about.

You were always affectionate and loving

Quick to give hugs, snuggles, and kisses.

: )

By the time we were older, you were the perfect example of a wasted and depressing lifestyle

The perfect example of what I will never become.

I am glad we got the chance to talk, a year before you died, so I could better understand why your life was like that for so many years.

All your good and all your bad have influenced quite a bit in my life

The Good: The first 3rd of our lives with you, you were an amazing mother.

You were kind, sensitive, and loving the entire time you were on this earth.

The first 3rd of your life with us was spent being healthy and active, and sadly, the last 3rd of your life, when you tried to re-embrace health and fitness, it was too late.

The Bad: The 2nd third of your life was filled with lifestyle decisions that I will never welcome into my life. You were the most depressing and dysfunctional personal I sadly had to witness. You were never on time and chose to bring terrible people into our lives.

You made every excuse in the book not to succeed in happiness, and refused to let anyone help you who actually had your best interest in mind.

How you must have hurt our Grandma, and uncle with some of your shenanigans.

Shameful!

Witnessing your inability to be productive, your ability to be cruel to the people who wanted to help you, your desire to keep useless people in your life, were the best examples of what I do not want for my life.

I cannot thank you enough for what you have taught me, but wow, how I wish you could have lived a happier life.

Because I love you

It is easy to remember the good times

There were many

When you were happy

there was never a doubt that you loved us

But wow, things could really turn dark.

And they did for many years.

I am so fortunate that we had that opportunity to reconcile before you died

I will never forget that moment, in my little studio apartment

when I said those cruel words to you

"I love you because you are my Mom,

but I wouldn't chose you as a friend if I met you on the street".

Anyone who doesn't know our history

would be disgusted to know I said that to my Mom, but had I not said those words to you, we never would have had the opportunity for you to share with me so many important things that had impacted your life...things that once you told me, gave me a whole new perspective and respect for you on that day.

That day helped me to really see you as a person.

To realize that you weren't just my mom, but that you were once a young woman, a girl, a teenager when you had your kids.

You were in High School at LA High

when you met the father of your children

As we all know now, not a wise choice, but you were a girl.

I love these pics.

I was always amazed how I hadn't seen your senior picture (on the left) at the time that I had gotten myself ready for this 6th grade class pic (on the right)

: )

Not long after your senior picture was taken you had your first child

That day in my apt, you really put it into perspective

what you had endured before you were even 21.

Having to imagine being so young, with a child with so many problems, and then having him die at 2.

Devastating

Then to go on and have 2 more children with that useless man

(I guess he was pretty young too)

uggg!

I still don't know why you even bothered with him but I am glad you did or I wouldn't have Willie, and I wouldn't be here either. I am also thankful that you never said anything bad about him while we were growing up and let Willie and I come to our own conclusions about him when we got older.

What a piece of work he was

(and still is)

I am so glad I was born to you

You were the best Mom when we were little

This is one of my favorite pics

My baptism.

I love your hair and your dress

So pretty

I must be six months here since it's Christmas

I wish there were more pictures of you

but those dark years didn't make for pretty pictures.

I wish there were pictures of your last 2 years

You had finally gotten yourself on a happy path

and were taking great care of yourself.

You were happy, trying to be active, and actually looking forward to a future.

We were really beginning to get to know each other again and I was really gaining a new found respect for you and enjoying your desire to be my Mom again.

It felt so good to see you happy.

: )

One of my greatest last memories of us

is when you taught me to drive stick

Oh how I loved that Volvo

You were an amazing teacher. So patient, Never made me feel nervous.

You gave me all the confidence in the world.

Oh, how I loved that car.

Loved it even more after you passed. My last "material" connection to you.

It broke my heart when the car finally had to be laid to rest.

It was my last connection to you since your lame-assed husband kept everything.

To this day, I still have no clue where he is and what he did with your ashes or anything else that had belonged to you.

Geeze, you sure knew how to pick 'em!

For all your faults, you gave us so many amazingly important gifts

You taught us about life, death, love, loss...even before you died.

No topic was ever taboo with you.

You always said things like

"...parents never leave their children until they're ready..."

"...death is a part of life and it shouldn't be feared..."

On January 8th, I knew you were going to die.

No one believed me because you looked and sounded fine.

I knew you weren't going to want to be in the hospital on your birthday.

When I wheeled Grandma into your hospital room to see you and she spoke perfectly, and in English,

that was the moment I knew you would be leaving.

I'll never forget the night before, sitting with Uncle Butch at The Panda Inn off Brand Blvd and telling him

"Mom's not going to want to be there on her birthday"

I loved how he was always there for us

He loved you so much

He took me home and said that we'd go see you in the morning.

I sat in my little studio, waiting, dreading, knowing...

I'll never forget what I was doing, sitting by the TV, filing my toe nails (many times, if I file my toenails in the evening, I think of that night) when the call came from the hospital that you weren't going to make it through the night.

I went ape-shit-crazy all by myself in my little studio until my uncles came

Then I went silent
Shock

I don't remember much until we were by your bedside and they were asking Willie and I to make the decision about DNR

That was the worst

We didn't want you to think we had given up on you

but you had always raised us to not fear death

and you had told us

you didn't want to be kept alive if you were going to be a vegetable.

I am so glad you were not alone and that we were there to hold your hands as you took your last breathes.

When you were 17, you were going to be a mother

When I was 17 I had no place to live because of you and your destructive lifestyle

When you were 19 you were going to have your 2nd child

When I was 19 I had been living on my own for almost 2 years, going to college, and holding down a full time job with no help from anyone

When you were 21 you had 3 children and you were a loving Mom

When I was 21 I was skipping my Design and Lit classes to go to dance classes, managing a retail store, and trying to figure out what to do with my life.

I was almost 23 years old on the day you died

When you were 23, you had already given birth to 3 babies

one who had passed away when he was 2 years old, then Willie, then me.

You didn't know you were dying

when we started to communicate again, and I am so fortunate I had the time with you, before you passed away, to get to know you.

Not just as my mom, but as a person.

The sum of all your parts.

Willie and I are the sum of all your parts

and I am hoping you have been proud of what you have created.

For all the things you didn't do, you set a foundation in our early years, you were an excellent Mom when we were little and I think that made a huge difference

I cannot thank you enough for all you taught me

and for giving me the best brother in the world

There were so many questions I never got to ask you

So many things I never would have thought to ask you until now

I will be 39 this year and it freaks me out to think that if I were you

I would only have 6 more years to enjoy life on this earth.

I am proud that you were my Mom

I love that I am your daughter.

I Miss You

I Love You

: )

Gloria C. Lastra

January 9th 1950

January 9th 1995

Remembering that Facebook Note "25 Things"

2011-01-04T19:58:00.000-08:00

Originally Posted as

"By Popular Demand...25 Random Melissa Facts"

since that note was posted

so many wonderful things on the list have been realized

I cannot wait to see what 2011 has in store for Us

: )

this picture was from NYE

2009

Bashan Restaurant

Who knew that the next NYE at Bashan would be so important

in my decision making for

2010

Here are the "25 Random Melissa Facts"

1. I want to have a beautiful edible garden that has more than just the regular rosemary, lavender, basil, sage, chives and thyme that I’ve always had.

2. I love waking up before the sunrise. I am such a morning person but I don’t like to talk first thing in the morning. I will happily stay up late into the night when I have been inspired by something wonderful and want to enjoy it more…I will still wake before the dawn even if I went to bed just an hour before sunrise.

3. Most people know my social side. Most people do not know that I crave solitude.

4. I love my “scent” after backpacking alone on Santa Rosa Island for 4 days…nothing is more beautiful than 4 days with a beach all to myself and the ocean as my bath…I come home smelling and feeling like heaven. I have done this 4 time since 2000 and will be doing it again soon. Mister Matthew Mascaro, where are those pictures you took of me when I came back from the island the last time?

5. I usually prefer dining alone 90% of the time in order to give a thoughtfully prepared meal my full attention. Anyone who has dinned with me is someone that I hold in high regard and brings something extra special to the experience.

6. I miss my Mom, My Grama, and Claude Thompson so much lately. 3 very important people who have had such an impact on me. How I wish I could just talk to them and hear their voices. I’ve been dreaming of my Grama so much lately.

7. My brother is more important to me than anyone will ever know. I have lost my Mom, my Grama, and some very important people in my life, but I have no clue what I would do if I ever lost my Brother. He is a wonderful man and someone I would choose as my friend if I had met him on the street.

8. I cry every time I watch an episode of Cold Case, Ghost Whisperer, and Kimba the White Lion. I am such a sap.

9. I loved dancing and singing for Andy Williams in Branson, Mo. I miss the Ozarks more than I would have ever expected. If it weren’t for that show, I never would have become such an amazing outdoors(wo)man. : )

10. I had always wanted a pair of diamond earrings and was going to buy myself a pair for my 27th birthday…I bought a kayak instead and never regretted it. I still want a pair of diamond earrings but I get to kayak every weekend or whenever the urge hits me. I have owned 3 kayaks in my life…only two remain.

11. I worked as a dancer on a Carnival Cruise ship…the only contract job I’ve ever quit. What a nightmare.

12. I’ve been the “Doll in a Box” as a Magician’s Assistant.

13. I’ve spent 1 month in Tasmania as Wilderness Medical Support for a Climbing Expedition. I can’t wait to go back…such an amazing place. Pristine nature, organic food, humanely raised livestock, and some of the best mushrooms, dairy, fish, wine I have ever eaten.

14. I have no regrets that I’ve not yet been married. I’ve been fortunate enough to have experienced glorious amounts of romance during my traveling days. Kisses atop glaciated mountains in Tasmania, 2 gents at one time following me across the country trying to win my affection, flights to LV for amazing 13 course meals and Jimmy Choos, songs written for me, dishes made for the menus of amazing restaurants in order to woo me, a fine man who hiked 15 miles to bring me a bottle of wine and then sent a Coast Guard boat to bring me back to the island the next week for my dream meal…I don’t know any women who can say they’ve experienced spontaneous “romance”. I will be married to a wonderful man someday. I can’t wait to find out who it will be.

15. I slept in a tent behind a kayak shop in Key Largo for 3 months in order to have access to the kayaks. It was an amazing summer (even with all the mosquito bites). I lived off $7,000.00 that year and I was the healthiest I had ever been.

16. 8 years ago when I was trying to figure out what to do when I could no longer be a dancer, I did some career counseling sessions with Career Transitions for Dancers…I listed my main priorities for my next career to be: #1. I do not want to have to wear shoes to work. #2. I want to be able to get paid to sweat and stay in shape. #3. I want to be able to eat, drink, and travel thanks to my new career. Life is sweet. Remember y’all, you can have what you want. : )

17. I have tons of pillows in my house and on my bed but I do not use a pillow for sleeping.

18. I love it when my man places his hand on my face…it is such a sweet gesture and the fact that I want his hand there says so much about him.

19. I’ve lived alone since I was 17. I’ve never lived with a roommate, a boyfriend, or anyone else. The only person I will live with is the man I marry and any children or pets we will be blessed with.

20. I hate dusting but I enjoy vacuuming.

21. I sleep flat on my back, hands right by my side, or on my hip bones if I am cold, I do not move , and do not have to make my bed in the morning…I just slide out of the covers and tidy them up a bit. I’ve woken up with my eye glasses still sitting perfectly poised on my chest after a 4 hour nap.

22. I sometimes wonder what it will feel like when I grow up. When do we know when we have?

23. When I had a bathtub I would love to soak in it while eating a bag of pork rinds, drinking a bottle of wine, and listening to Gene Kruppa and Anita Oday’s “Drummin’ Man.” Now, since I don’t have a tub, I just settle for a bottle of Bubbles and something salty and yummy like bacon, eggs, and tatertots!

24. I am afraid of heights.

25. I cannot wait to share a home with a wonderful man who inspires me, will grow with me, challenges me, and will be happy eating the wonderful meals I will be cooking with the beautiful things that I will grow in my garden.

These "25 Random Melissa Facts"

were originally posted

on Monday, August 31, 2009 at 4:55pm

So much has stayed the same

Happily, so much has changed

Stay tuned for the next post for the

2010 Recap!

Happy New Year!

Cheers!

: )

Rainy Day/Winter Fun

2010-12-27T16:58:00.000-08:00

Are you allergic to water?

Are you allergic to snow?

I didn't think so.

I love getting outside no matter what the weather has in store for me

Wind, Rain, Snow, Excessive Heat

as long as you're prepared, you can have a great time out there!

Here I am on December 18th, 2010

taking a break from kayaking in Newport Bay, CA

between the Coast Guard Beach and the Jetty

enjoying a little rain after playing in the wind and waves by the jetty

Don't let a little rain, wind, or snow stop you

from enjoying The Great Outdoors

Here are some more of my favorite pics

from cold/stormy/wet/snowy adventures

This is me enjoying my first real winter

(far from the warm winters of Los Angeles, CA)
on lake Taneycomo in Branson, Mo

I love warm and fuzzy hats
especially when they cover my ears!
: )

One thing I don't enjoy is being cold

but that can easily can be taken care of with the right clothing

Once I get moving
the kayak gets pretty toasty.

But be warned
if you decide to go kayaking in super-cold weather
wear Gortex/something waterproof
It's not the threat of falling in or getting rained on
that you need to be worried about
It's the possibility of sitting in soggy pants
because the condensation that collects on the inside of the kayak from your body heat mixing with the kayak sitting in cold water can create some really drippy-drawers.
Eeeew!
: /

This is me one NYE on Santa Cruz Island
enjoying some bubbly and treats after hiking all day in the rain

It cleared up just long enough to snack for about an hour
Enough time to take some silly pictures, and laugh at a huge crow
that flew off with a WHOLE wedge of triple cream brie
which weighed about a 1/2lb

I figured it would be a good thing to pass the time by taking silly pictures

I was in good company
20 year Tawny and some Bubbly

2nd night

still raining

What the heck

more snacks and more bubbly

Cheers!

Here I am on San Miguel Island

enjoying a super drizzly, super windy, ranger-lead hike to see the Elephant Seals

I'm right here, in the back

wearing the super-sexy outfit with the backpack, high socks and the skirt

; )

This is one of my all time favorite pictures

because it was taken on one of my all-time favorite adventures

backpacking the Kalalau Trail on the Na Pali Coast in Kauai, Hawaii

I look very happy here

because I was lucky enough to be able to pitch my tent

before the next really bad storm hit.

This was my first backpacking trip ever!
Here's an incredible quick google aerial video of the trail

: )

However

it turns out that I was there during the worst storm

Kauai had experienced since Hurricane Iniki.

This trip is responsible for changing my perspective
on my personal expectations, acceptance, pride, ability, and respect.

I encourage you to get outside
Embrace a little discomfort.
Face a fear.
Live.
Enjoy!
: )

Bar Snacks 12/12/2010

2010-12-27T15:03:00.000-08:00

Cute snacks for cute guests

go great with a BIG bottle of Sake!

Prepared for Erin and Ann

after the Xterra Crystal Cove Ultra

on Sunday, 12/12/2010

: )

One does not have to slave over a hot stove for hours

to make their guests feel appreciated.

This quick little snack

was put together in as much time that it took for Erin, Ann, and Andrew

to head to the 99Ranch Market (2 miles away)

to pick up the BIG bottle of Sake.

I figured these little treats would do the job

to hold them till I prepared the

Ghetto Gourmet Ramen for dinner.

Cute little deviled quail eggs

topped with caviar and chives

served with

garlicky/buttery toasts, cold sake, and cold beer.

I love

our Kitchen "bar" at "Chez Calasanz"

Cheers!

: )

Joshua Tree Winter Adventure December 1st and 2nd 2010

2010-12-23T00:05:00.000-08:00

Thank goodness for this man
for agreeing to be at the mercy
of my random plans to take off in the middle of the night.
: )

I love to get away!
I love to go where there is no noise, plenty of fresh air, amazing sunsets, huge stars in clear evening skies, and amazing sunrises.

I crave views, where I can see forever
where there is no sign city life

This is at the Keyes View Overlook in Joshua Tree National Park

On the evening of December 1st, 2010

I baked a quiche; packed some quinoa, berries, and some water; grabbed all of our down bedding and cozy clothing, and around 8pm, I dragged Andrew to Joshua Tree for his first time.

I love it out there!

Options for trails are endless

and I couldn’t wait to share this special place with my wonderful man.

If you can handle the cold nights, the days are spectacular

There is almost no one out there at this time of year

so you get the world to yourself.

We arrived around midnight

I did all the driving that evening so I could let Andrew sleep.

The sky was clear, the stars were bright, it was beautiful.

It was about 30 degrees

when we finally snuggled up to sleep in the back of the 4Runner.

I couldn’t wait to see the sunrise.

This was our little nest for the night

Uh, kinda messy, but boy was it cozy!
It didn't look like this while we were sleeping

Andrew enjoying the super-cold sunrise

About 34 degrees...brrrr!

Good Morning Andrew!

Joshua Tree's Hidden Valley Campground.

I LOVE the mornings in Joshua Tree!

Had to strike a pose

: )

After watching the sunrise

I couldn't wait to drive Andrew through the park

to see some of the best views, and trail options.

I guess he wants to go that way...

...or he's practicing his best disco moves...

or, it's just...

Andrew, being Andrew...making me smile at

At Hidden Valley Campground.

: )

Andrew's first view

from one of the highest points in Joshua Tree

This is Andrew's "I'm at the Keyes View Overlook" pose

hahaha! I look like I'm in my PJs

wait, I am in my PJs...that's what I slept in : )

This is also at the Keyes View Overlook

Look closely at the trail

there I am

Near Mt Ryan Trail Head by the Indian Caves

Doing what I do

: )

One thing I will never do
is eat crappy food when in the outdoors
My motto:
if it goes good with champagne, it goes perfectly in a back pack!
: )

About to unpack our morning treats

Caught!

Couldn't resist the raspberries

: )

BREAKFAST!
at Jumbo Rocks in Joshua Tree

On the Menu
Quiche;
Quinoa with lentils, cashews, and dried cherries;
Quinoa with heirloom tomatoes, red onions, and green onions;
Raspberries.
Strawberries.
Shell Beans with red onions.
Baguette for Andrew.
: )

We nibbled on all this throughout the day : )

This man makes me smile!

: )

He really does make me smile...every day! : )

I think he was trying to distract me with his smile...

...so he could snag a treat.

The best part of the treats that I packed

they do not require refrigeration
Even the quiche
(one of my favorite back-packing treats)
: )

This is one of my favorite spots to watch a sunset
Jumbo Rocks Campground

I kick up my heels for happy days in Joshua Tree!

Here are some of the fun things we got to see on our adventure

Cholla
aka "Jumping Cactus"

Here's the Cholla Garden

Andrew!

Don't touch it!

those little fellas look so cuddly: )

oooh, I want to touch it!

: )

definitely NOT so cuddly

: /

Fine, I wont touch it!

: )

I'm keeping my hands to myself

: )

eeek!

Ocotillo Thorny Branches

Absolutely NOT cuddly!

: /

Andrew getting friendly with an Ocotillo

Getting in touch with nature
at the Cottonwood Canyon Visitor Station
: )

Definitely Cuddly!

: )

A cool grinding stone

along the Lost Palms Oasis Trail

Here's another one

On the Mastodon Peak Trail

Doing what I do

Hey check out my cool top
I love my new long sleeve top from ARC!

Perfect for a chilly morning in Joshua Tree!

: )

I guess it warmed up

Getting some sun while waiting for Andrew to run up the trail

Andrew Doing what he does

Running up the Mastodon Peak Trail in Joshua Tree

Doing what I do

Scampering up the Mastodon Peak Trail in Joshua Tree

: )

to the arms of my wonderful man

There he goes again...

...striking another pose

; )

Doing what we do

smiling together on the Mastodon Peak Trail in Joshua Tree

: )

I cannot wait till our next adventure!

: )

Pre Marathon Carb Loading Meals

2010-11-09T21:25:00.000-08:00

Andrew will be running the Malibu Marathon

on Sunday 11/14/2010

I'm only doing the 1/2

so I'm not too concerned with the Carb-Loading

I'm just gonna keep eating good, clean meals,

keeping tabs on my hydration, and making sure I get a bit more rest

so I don't feel as wrecked as I did 2 weeks ago when I did

The Los Angeles Rock n Roll 1/2 Marathon

Andrew loves pasta

in any shape, form, and preparation

So I decided to make him one of the dishes that my Grandma would make

for my brother when he was in junior high/high school

and participating in every sport that fit into his schedule

Marathon Men and teenage boys have 2 things in common

A never ending appetite

and a never ending pile of sweaty clothes and socks

Luckily

I only have the never ending pile of sweaty clothes and socks

in common with them.

The greatest thing about this dish

is that it's inexpensive

and can be made with wonderful ingredients

to ensure the best of both worlds

Nutritional Value and Flavor

As always

start with fresh, high quality ingredients

In the cast iron skillet

fresh red and green bell peppers; fresh yellow onions; fresh green onions, fresh garlic, fresh shallots, fresh sage, fresh, oregano, some cumin, salt, and pepper.

Add

The House Burger Blend from McCall's

to the veggies once they are almost beyond al dente

Add

2 cans of tomato paste, and some more herbs and seasoning to taste

Mix

with some enriched elbow macaroni

and you've got yourself a whole heck of a lot of

delicious carb-loading goodness

that tastes even better the next day

*******

Here's another Excellent way to carb load

while still incorporating fresh ingredients

that also ensures some nutritional value and comfort-factor flavor

Tuna Casserole

White Trash Done Right

Along with the usual suspects (white trash ingredients),

I use fresh, chopped spinach, fresh mushrooms, peas

and freshly grated Parmesan

I'm sure you know the drill

Mix ingredients, stick in Pyrex Dish, Bake,

Serve

Eat

Not exactly photogenic

but it sure does taste good

and it's pretty inexpensive

and, a little goes a long way.

I would love to hear about your favorite

Carb-Loading Meals.

Wishing You a Happy and Healthy Day!

Melissa Adylia Gutierrez

Owner/Personal Trainer

Controlled Burn Fitness

Beautiful Bird

2010-11-08T22:39:00.000-08:00

When the weather cools down

I love to turn on the oven and cook amazing meals

Lately, the weather has been hit or miss

One day it's freezing

(by my SoCal standards, anything below 70 should be against the law)

the next day,over 80 degrees

I love a perfectly cooked chicken

Paired with roasted veggies and a glass of bubbly

Last Friday,

The weather was in my favor!

: )

First Step

Start with the best ingredients

I Grabbed this beautiful bird at my favorite Butcher Shop

McCalls Meat and Fish Company

in Los Feliz, CA

Simply, Cut up some veggies and aromatics

Throw in a Pyrex dish

Place birdie on top after stuffing it with some of the veggies and aromatics

Smear the skin with delicious butter, salt, pepper, and garlic

Top with herbs

Put in oven

Take your time preparing your side dishes

and cleaning the kitchen

Here is your reward

A Beautiful Bird!

I could stare at this all day

but I'd prefer eating it

Crispy Skin

Juicy Meat

A Perfect plate of dark meat

Served with rice, roasted carrots and garlic, and steamed spinach

A Perfect plate of white meat

Served with rice, roasted carrots and garlic, and steamed spinach

I love adding roasted Shallots, yellow onions, thyme, and sage

Served up with my favorite view

Mister Andrew C enjoying one of my home cooked meals

along with his favorite garnishes

Slowly toasted green onions, garlic, shallots, and yellow onions

Dinner was amazing

Had to make a plate for Andrew to take for lunch the next day.

Thank you McCalls for another perfect bird.

Can't wait to rock the chicken stock I made with the bones and make some risotto this week!

I welcome everyone to share your favorite way of preparing a chicken.

Cheers!

: )

Post 1/2 Marathon Disciplined Indulgent Treat

2010-11-02T00:16:00.000-07:00

Sunday, October 24th

I "ran"

The Los Angeles Rock n Roll 1/2 Marathon

I Love this pic!

This pic was Courtesy of Louis Kwan.

You can view a ton more pics from the Los Angeles Rock n Roll 1/2

here

I was craving something super delicious

as a treat to celebrate a few long weeks of training clients and completing this 1/2 Marathon, completely unprepared, over trained, and utterly exhausted.

Sometimes I crave some "interesting" things after a long run

Cold pizza and beer

really hit the spot after the

San Diego Rock n Roll 1/2 Marathon

(June 2010)

After this 1/2 Marathon, I was craving something a little more indulgent.

Marrow Bones!

But first, I had to make a quick pit stop to one of my all time favorite places

Best Fish Taco in Ensenada

for a shrimp taco before heading to my other post-run-standby

Chi Dynasty in Los Feliz

for a large order of Sizzling Rice Soup!

After taking care of serious business

Saying hello to the most wonderful fish taco stand owner, Joseph Cordova, and eating my favorite immediate-post-run-snack

and heading to Chi Dynasty for my Sizzling Rice Soup

I headed towards

My Meaty Mecca

McCall's Meat and Fish

to grab some

BONES!!!

Placed them atop some foil on a baking sheet,

sprinkled them with flake salt and some freshly ground pepper

and surrounded them with fresh sage from my garden

and let them get all toasty

Served them with toasted whole grain bread

and a bottle of bubbly

What more could a gal ask for?

Toasted Shallots, Garlic, and Onions!

...for the amazing Cod

Also picked up from McCall's!

Of course, I had to throw in some pretty heirloom tomatoes

for color, flavor, texture, and nutritional value

All served up with my favorite view

Mister Andrew C, enjoying a meal cooked up by little ol' me

: )

He loved the bones

and the pretty fish as much as I did!

What do you enjoy after a run?

Quality vs Quantity

2010-10-23T22:07:00.000-07:00

You'll find the best quality Meats and Fish at

McCAll's Meat and Fish Co.

And you'll leave with a really cute bag filled will amazingly delicious treats.

This bag had the prettiest piece of Salmon and a split Marrow Bone.

Some of you know that salmon is my least favorite fish.

I have the hardest time finding High Quality, FRESH salmon, so I am usually turned off by salmon...

If Salmon is even a hint low rent

it tastes and smells like broke-down-stripper-a**!

And it's usually hard to tell if you're really getting good salmon because, just like "broke-down-stripper a**", many sins can be covered with good lighting and all kinds of other smoke and mirrors...you can't always tell till it's too late.

I was in the neighborhood today

visiting the gang at A Runners Circle to pick up my "Potty Like a Rock Star Pass", courtesy of Brooks, for the The Los Angeles Rock n Roll 1/2 Marathon when the gang from Heartbeat House called me and asked if I could teach the 4pm Contemporary Dance Class.

I had been thinking of grabbing marrow bones from McCall's

for the last 3 weeks

but time and traffic just hadn't been on my side.

Today was my lucky day!

I was going to have a little extra cash in hand from teaching the class

so I had to go to McCall's.

I was really craving a piece of fish for dinner tonight.

I was feeling hopeful and was praying that they'd have the best of both worlds:

Marrow bones

and

Fish

and they did!

Even though Salmon rarely makes me smile,

I was smiling the moment I saw it in the display case...the skin looked so good.

Sorry there is no pic of the skin

I toasted it and ate it before taking the pic...what can I say, I have no restraint.

I had to keep it simple

Crisped up some of my favorite ingredients

Placed the pretty fish on top

and baked it at 325degress with a sprinkle of flake salt and freshly ground pepper.

I forgot to take a pictures after adding the heirloom tomatoes

they were baked with the fish

Served the fish over Jade Pearl Rice

and sprinkled with fresh chives

Topped it off with one of my favorite Cavas

which I picked up from my all time favorite boutique wine shop

Silverlake Wine

A perfect meal for the evening before a 1/2 Marathon

Cheers!

: )

What is your favorite meal the night before a big run?

BTW

The Salmon was

AMAZING!

I wish I saved some for breakfast!

How to Make Chicken Soup Even Better...

2010-10-23T20:26:00.000-07:00

Poach an egg in it and serve it over crisped toast

Dont forget to rub the bread with a little bit of butter and garlic
and make it extra crispy

Makes the perfect "Breakfast of Champions", mid day snack, lunch, or if you're like me, dinner!

I love eggs for dinner!

What are your favorite random snacks that you think work great no matter what time of day or night?