A Reflection on My Journey Back to Dance

A Reflection on My Journey Back to Dance

Hard work, a little discomfort, humbling realizations of weakness...Must remember it will all be worth it. Move your body, exercise your mind, challenge yourself and thank the people who support you.

-Melissa Adylia Calasanz

of
Controlled Burn Fitness

A 20 Year Old Melissa Adylia Gutierrez (now Calasanz)
taking a dance break on the 5 freeway on the way to Sea World

The Following was written on Tuesday, March 12, 2013, as an assignment for a Jazz Class I am currently enrolled in at Orange Coast College. Jazz was my thing...ballet was never my strong point.  However, it is fascinating for me to observe how uncomfortable I feel in this Jazz class compared to how I feel while taking an Advanced Ballet Class, two days a week at Glendale Community College.  

OCC Jazz Dance Class Self Critique

It could be easy for a non-dancer to assume that a former professional dancer would have no problem participating in a college level Jazz dance class. However, I would be happy to assure anyone who held such an assumption that, for some former professional dancers, returning to a college dance class can prove to be challenging, not just physically, but also emotionally. Since enrolling in this class, in order to fulfill a requirement for my degree, I have had to face many unwelcomed insecurities, and I’ve also had to learn how to accept where I am today. Having the assignment to give myself a self-critique for my performance in our skills test on Tuesday, as well as critiquing myself for attempting to execute the choreographed material, has afforded the opportunity for me to reflect on my physical and emotional journey back to dance.

Though I have only taken about fifteen dance classes in the past five years, I have found that returning to dance class has been more of an emotional challenge than a physical one. For instance, it has been difficult to come to terms with the reflection I see in the mirror. Though my rational mind knows I have a relatively wonderful body for a woman my age, the former professional dancer in me has a minor emotional breakdown each day I have to put on the required dance clothes for class. At a weight of over twenty pounds more than what I weighed while I was dancing professionally, I no longer recognize myself in the mirror, and when I do realize that the reflection I see in the mirror is Me, there is a moment where my heart sinks and I yearn for the days when I was young, lean, and talented. 

I not only look so different from when I was a dancer, my body moves much less gracefully, and it takes my body a lot longer to become in synch with my mental intention. I no longer have a flair for picking up or retaining choreography. This contributes to the fact that I no longer move with the confidence and skill I did while I was a professional dancer.  However, though my ability to carry out choreography in a competent manner still eludes me, I have been pleasantly surprised to see that I am still capable of executing technical drills/exercises, in both the warm up and across the floor, efficiently and with clarity. I am thrilled to see that years of great technique is still ingrained in my muscle memory.

The idiosyncrasies in regards to my muscle memory were highlighted while engaging in the across the floor skills test/improvisation on Tuesday. The moment we were instructed to add “personal flair” to our walks across the floor, I “had to” take my hair down in order to move with confidence. I had already committed to challenge myself,  the second week of this semester when I decided to no longer wear my heels across the floor, but without the security-blanket my heels represented, I felt completely naked and incapable of “really dancing” with my hair up. I was amused by how obvious my insecurities could be dealt with just by adjusting my hair.  Once I took my hair down, the improvisation passes across the floor become easier. I made a conscious effort to put my hair back up as I relaxed and regained my confidence.

Unfortunately, my confidence didn’t last.  When it was my time to dance in a group, with all the young dancers, my emotions took over once again and I was an internal mess-as I always happen to be during this class. I do not remember even doing the routine. I find myself checking out each time I’ve had to do it. I was not looking forward to viewing my “performance” video later that evening. Thankfully, when I had the opportunity to watch the video, I was pleasantly surprised that it wasn’t the worst thing I had ever seen.

I chose to look at the video with kindness, and critique myself for what I really am: I am no longer a professional dancer! I have not been a professional dancer since 2005, and I have barely taken any dance classes in years! I have suffered a non-dance/sport-related injury which has left my left femur missing quite a bit of articular cartilage, and I have many other physical obligations I have to attend to in my personal and professional life which do not lend my body enough time to recover in order to go “full-out” in a dance class!

Realizing I can objectively view myself, not as an old and overweight “has-been” dancer, but as a student, is liberating. Yes, I was not on the music, yes, there were times when it was obvious I had lost direction and even forgot the choreography, and yes, the young dancers around me looked beautiful and full of potential and remind me of what I once was. Fortunately, I can now see what I still have, and what I will always have, and that is my experience, and a new found respect for how I am facing this.

I intend to continue to challenge my comfort level as I continue through this class, yet respect my physical limitations. My legs may no longer get as high as they used to, but my placement is still good, and my intention is respectful. I just need to give myself permission to stop comparing myself to who I used to be as a woman and a dancer and celebrate who I am today: I am an amazingly active fitness professional that loves participating in numerous half and full marathons and trail races throughout the year; I love that I kayak, trail run, hike, and bike weekly while taking jazz and ballet classes-each twice a week-for the first time in years; I love that the degree I am completing will continue helping me to keep dancers and athletes injury-free; and I love that being a participant and an observer in this class is providing me rich and valuable information that will enrich me just as much personally as it will enrich me professionally.

-Melissa Adylia Calasanz

of

Controlled Burn Fitness
Chez Calasanz
and
Disciplined Indulgence

Alvin Ailey via Claude Thompson

"Discuss a Choreographer who has had the most impact on you..."

The following is what I wrote about

Alvin Ailey

Alvin Ailey
Photo by Carl Van Vechten

and

Claude Thompson

Claude Thompson
Photo by  Carl Van Vechten

The more I explore dance history, the more difficult it is to choose only one choreographer responsible for having the most impact on me. However, it is also my exploration of dance history that has helped me to elect Alvin Ailey (1931-1989) as the one choreographer responsible for impacting my dance career and influencing me the most. I chose Alvin Ailey because the choreographers, dancers, and techniques which contributed to Alvin Ailey’s dance style and history are also what connect him to my mentor, Claude Thompson (1935-2007)-therefore contributing to my personal dance history.

When I was about fourteen years old, I saw the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater, for the first time. I immediately fell in love with the combination of athleticism and grace, of both the male and female dancers. I remember chiseled male bodies, in nothing more than what resembled loin cloths, jumping, turning, stopping, and balancing in such dramatic ways, women who were barefoot, strong, yet still feminine, and both the men and women equally strong, elegant and captivating, whether dancing with each other or apart-I was mesmerized. Up until that time I had been singularly focused on ballet and had never seen male and female dancers showcased in such a beautifully unified way. I wanted to dance like that, but had no idea how a ballet dancer would learn how to do such things.  About five years later, I had the opportunity to take a master class from a gentleman named Claude Thompson who had assistants demonstrating the exercises and choreography for the class. His assistants instantly reminded me of the dancers I saw with the Alvin Ailey Dance Company. After taking Claude’s master class, completely unaware of Claude’s association/history with Alvin Ailey and Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater, I became determined to someday become one of Claude’s assistants.

During the years I was taking classes with Claude, he always made mention of “Alvin” when discussing his days of studying “Horton” and he often mentioned the names Dunham and Graham when we would work on contractions and hinges and while working on one of “Talley’s pieces.” It wasn’t until I was his assistant that I learned that “Alvin” was Alvin Ailey of Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater, “Dunham” and “Graham” were the highly regarded modern dance pioneers Katherine Dunham and Martha Graham, and “Talley” was Talley Beatty who happened to have been a former Graham student and is well known for his amazing solo choreographic piece, Mourner’s Bench.

Claude often told his dancers and assistants that in order to become a strong and versatile dancer, it was important to study as many different dance styles and techniques as possible. He was also insistent that his assistants take Horton and Dunham technique classes, Afro-Haitian classes, as well as keeping up with our ballet classes. Claude also told many stories and lent many of his assistants and dancers videos in order for us to become familiar with the works of Talley Beatty and Jack Cole. It wasn’t until years after Claude’s death and while I was taking Dance History classes that I became aware just how much influence all these dance styles, dancers, and choreographers contributed so much to both Claude’s and Alvin Ailey’s dance history. The more I learned about Graham, Dunham, Horton, the more I began to see similarities in movements and philosophies that have influenced Claude and Alvin’s dance vocabulary , for example, when I recently heard a quote by Judith Jameson, of Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater, “If you haven’t studied at least four techniques, you’ll never get trough one of Beatty’s Ballets.” Upon hearing Jameson’s quote, I couldn’t help but give a nod to Claude for all the encouragement he gave his students to take as many classes of varying styles and techniques, from as many teachers as possible in order to help up become strong-capable of doing one of “Beatty’s Ballets.” I too have become an advocate of dancers and athletes having an extensive knowledge of different physical disciplines that will promote keeping their strong, dynamic bodies lean, flexible, expressive, and less prone to injury.

Exploring the topic of which choreographer has had the most impact on me has been a wonderful opportunity to realize how all dancers are the sum of all their parts, as well as the sum of all the parts of the teachers and choreographers who have shared their history with us. When given the opportunity to study dance history, dancers have the chance to become aware that the world of dance is small and we are all connected thanks to this beautiful art of movement. Through this exploration, I have learned that my most influential mentor, Claude Thompson, not only studied with many of the same people Alvin Ailey did, including Lester Horton-for whose style and technique I have tremendous respect, and who has influenced the way I structure the overall full body conditioning class I provide for my dancer and athletic clients- he was also the first guest artist in Alvin Ailey’s 1958 premier concert at the 92^nd Street Y in New York. I am thankful I have had the opportunity to have been re-inspired by both Dance History classes to learn more about my mentor‘s dance history, which in essence has created mine. 

Written for

Saint Mary's College of California's LEAP Program

LEAP PERFA 125 Challenge by Exam

I am happy to report that I earned an A for this essay, along with completing three other questions/essays for the exam!

:)

Margaret Karl	Jan 22 (3 days ago)
to me

Hi Melissa,

Here are your PERFA-125 results -- Great job!

Dear Melissa,

I read your PERF 125 challenge exam and your grade is an "A." Well done as usual. I think your analysis of Thompson via Ailey was clear and respectful and your assessment of the pas de deux was thoughtful. Just a note that pas de deux is already plural so you don't need the "pas des deux" that you have used herein. I don't think anyone has ever recognized the couple in the second pas, so I thought I'd mention that!

best,

jnj

Here is a video of Talley Beaty's

"Mourners Bench"

Enjoy!

:)

-Melissa Adylia Calasanz

Apples and Oranges

Comparing Dancing Apples and Oranges from Similar Trees

 I was directed to watch two videos, then analyze both dances and the dancers who performed them. 

Here are my thoughts

If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? This is a question many people are familiar with, yet the question is rarely explored, at great lengths or depths, outside of a philosophy class. Interestingly, this is the first question that came to my mind while viewing and analyzing the two video clips that were presented in the Dance in Performance Challenge by Exam Assignment. To address the task of writing about the two video clips with a critical eye, with as much consideration as a philosophy student is asked to ponder the tree in the woods question, requires equal analysis of perception as well as knowledge about what is being scrutinized. The following is an exploration of each dance and the dancers performing in each clip, and how music, movement, and facial expressions influence the similarities and differences, therefore impacting the viewer’s experience.

The clips presented have many similarities which can best be demonstrated upon analysis of the dancers. There is no doubt, after watching both videos that the technical prowess each dancer possesses lends itself to years of dance training with a strong ballet emphasis. The confidence each female dancer has in her male dance partner, and the intuitive symbiotic physical awareness that each male and female dancer have for each other, during the execution of each lift, is evident. The lifts-or tricks, depending upon a viewer’s knowledge and perception-are demonstrative of the type of trust between partners that is usually cultivated during many hours of rehearsals and performances extensively focused on pas des deux. While the video clips show that each couple equally displays great skill, confidence, and mastery of their choreography, and demonstrate each couple’s ability to maintain respect for musicality, without sacrificing their individual artistry, the clips also highlight the stark differences between each pair of dancers.

The first video link presents two dancers in sleek body suits; a male and female, engaged in a riveting choreographic display of movement, in what appears to be a dance or rehearsal room from the late 1970s or early 1980s. The movements of the two dancers are accompanied by music which may be classified as ambient by today’s musical standards or described as something similar to that would accompany a modern dance performance by chorographer Merce Cunningham. The dancers’ movements are fluid, seamless, and effortlessly executed, and the dancers maintain a physical point of contact at almost all times throughout the two-minute video clip, which is slightly reminiscent of the philosophies of the Judson Era Contact Improv of the 1970s. Though the dancers appear to be expressionless, void of passion and excitement-there is even a point at 0:36 in the clip where the female dancer comes up from the floor into a gloriously graceful developpe a la seconde with her hand covering her face-the lack of emotion coming from the two dancers does not detract from the excitement that their movements produce.  The lack of facial expression paired with the stark room and synergy of music and movement creates an atmosphere of voyeuristic opportunity-anyone with the good fortune to stumble upon them would feel as if they were allowed to witness a beautiful secret, or something akin to stumbling upon a sweet woodland creature that you would not want to disturb for fear the beautiful creature would flee. The video clip lends the opportunity for the movements to take center stage and claim all focus yet at the same time, the viewer is not unaware of the relationship between the music, the dancers, and the stark atmosphere.

The second video showcases acrobatic adagio couple, James and Kathy Taylor, performing one of their signature acrobatic adagio routines on the hit 1980s television show, Star Search. The choreography James and Kathy are performing in the second video clip happens to be the same choreography from one of the numbers James and Kathy performed, as The Taylors, while we were performers in the Andy Williams Show in 1996. Though the second video clip does not show how the piece of choreography begins, I can assure you, that unlike the couple in the first video-who appeared to be expressionless and unconcerned with having an audience from the moment their choreography begins-both James and Kathy are completely aware and invested in their audience from the moment they set foot on the stage. The video clip with The Taylors is representative of what 1980s television audiences desired-to be thrilled, surprised, delighted, and appreciated-to be entertained. Much like Disco Dancing of the 1970s, and the popularity of ice skating thanks to the 1984 Olympics, the choreography of  The Taylors  allowed time between the lifts and tricks for a poses, applause, and a moment of acknowledgement of their audience. At 0:23 you can see an excellent example of how the choreography allows the audience the time to process, appreciate, and acknowledge what has been presented. Also at 0:23 in the video, and at other spots throughout, such as at 1:01 there are obvious build-ups in the music where the audience is alerted to anticipate the next trick or lift. The calculated head-nods, choreographed smiles, flourishing arm, hand and wrist gestures, even the choice of using the Oscar Nominated song, Through the Eyes of Love, from the movie Ice Castles, lend to The Taylor’s ability to engage with their audience, and are representative of much of what was valued by an audience and lent to a performer’s artistic merit and popularity during the 1980s.

Prior to receiving the video links, I had never seen the first one and I am still completely unfamiliar with the dancers, the music, the intent of the piece, and the era from which it was conceived. The second video I instantly recognized as James and Kathy Taylor, and I was thrilled to have the opportunity to challenge my perception of each piece’s value against the other. Each video highlighted the technical and artistic skills of the dancers, and were excellent examples of how artistic choices made to manipulate similar movements in relation to music can inspire divergent reactions depending upon the audience of intent. A person’s preference for either video can possibly be determined by the knowledge and exposure to both styles of dance. Some would prefer the first video because their perception may be that if a performance is presented in a serious manner, it lends itself more artistic value. Whereas others may prefer the second video because they value the amount of attention the performers are paying to them as an appreciative audience member. Regardless of one’s preference for one or the other, it is important to realize that until an audience has had the opportunity to view both, it is impossible to come to a conclusion of preference. I however, have been fortunate to have observed both, and I have found that both pieces are truly a work of art-creative works inspiring exploration, and worthy of consideration.

Here are the two videos.

I would love to know your thoughts on each.

Video Number 1

Video Number 2

-Melissa Adylia Calasanz

The Biggest Loser Season 14

Have you watched the new season of The Biggest Loser? 

My Personal Training Clients know I'm a bit "intense" and they definitely have heard me yell. However, I am motivating, NOT demeaning! 

I LOVE to push my clients, but also appreciate assessing their abilities, knowing their thresholds, and taking them to their edge without pushing the envelope that flirts with emotional harm and physical injury.

To see a show, such as The Biggest Loser Season 14, that has trainers SCREAMING obscenities and not knowing how to assess if someone is really gonna pass out or not...knowing how to pull someone off a fake edge of fainting and push them further...uggg!

C'mon! The contestants are all taped-up, thrown-up, and falling down and that sends the WORST message to people who are already-self-abusive! 

It breaks my heart!

What is YOUR opinion about The Biggest Loser? Please feel free to leave a comment. 

I want anyone who is struggling with weight, health, and fitness, this:

Do you want to live a happy healthy and functional life?

Or do you crave abuse from someone who has been put upon a pedestal by Television Network Executives?

I posted the following on the Controlled Burn Fitness Blog

Though I have a reputation for being an intense and demanding personal trainer, working out efficiently, and losing weight successfully does NOT require a trainer to SCREAM and push a client to puking, falling, fainting, and risking injury! 

If that is the type of workout you crave, please look elsewhere for a personal trainer who promotes self-abuse, because that is NOT something I would ever endorse, promote, or deliver to any of my Controlled Burn Fitness clients.
I am happy to admit that I am actually a fan of The Biggest Loser. 

I do appreciate that the show does inspire many people to start moving and reevaluate the decisions they make about food and fitness.

However, I do not support the abusive nature of training that is presented during each episode.
Please, be kind to your body, even when pushing it to it's limits, so it will be willing to continue to deliver what you demand from it.

Stay happy, healthy, productive and kind!
Cheers!
-Melissa Adylia Calasanz
of
Controlled Burn Fitness
:)

New Year's Resolutions Part 2

It's Time to Throw out the Trash

As I posted in December 8th's New Year's Resolutions post, "For years, I have never "given up" anything as a resolution; instead I have always chosen to embrace a new challenge or an adventure..."

As this year gets closer to an end, I have begun to see how important it is to remove things from my life that serve no purpose other than to offer frustration.

However, this post is not about the clutter in the garage (which is the product of two over-forty year old people getting married and trying to move two lives worth of stuff into one home-that is slowly and considerately being addressed and removed), or trash that winds up in the gutter after a rain or windy period.

This post is about people.
This post is my declaration, my resolution to remove people from my life who offer as much frustration as clutter and as much offense as trash.

My Grama always used to say "if you lay down with dogs, you will get fleas!"
I completely agree!
I never want to be one who is in need of a flea dip...that stuff smells!

As I have been working on the clutter in the garage I have been evaluating the importance of things, I have been arranging things, I have been saving some things, I have been throwing out things, and I have been donating plenty of things.

Upon evaluating each object I ask myself 

• How long has it been since I've used this?

• When is the last time this thing brought me joy?

• When will I find use for this again?

• If I keep it, will finding a space for it in my life make it more difficult to access the things I really need?

• Is it really helpful?

• Am I holding onto this for sentimental reasons? Why? How is that helping me?

• Would anyone receive more benefit from this than I do?

While going through the process of evaluating the "things" in my life, I began to see how these same questions could be applied to people.
Sadly, upon evaluating several people I was still trying to stay in contact with, I realized these people were causing much frustration and at times great sadness.

I have always taken pride in being a loyal friend. Unfortunately, after close evaluation of several people I have been holding onto out of loyalty, I realized that by keeping them in my life I have been damaging my happiness, risking my reputation, and compromising the happiness of the ones around me who really deserve my time, my friendship, my love and my loyalty.

Time to let go!
Time to clean the clutter!
Time to remove the things that do not support a happy, healthy, and productive life!
Time to throw out the trash!

Time to "Clean House!"

Cheers

to a happy and clutter-free New Year!

:) 

It's Time to Let Go of the Bitter-Sweet Memories of Holidays Past

The Holiday Season is about spending time with the ones you love.
The Holiday Season is supposed to be about spending time with family.
The holiday season is supposed to be a happy time.
By the time I was about seven years old, the holidays were anything but happy.

By the time I was twelve years old, "family" was pretty much non-existent.
What there was of my family consisted of bitter, resentful people, out to hurt each other as well as feel sorry for themselves.
Not exactly ingredients for holiday cheer.
If there was a chance to be with "family" during the holidays there was sure to be drama in store for anyone involved.
There were years where my mother and her husband had put presents under the tree for me and my brother, but when it was time to visit my mother, the presents were gone and we were told "we sent them back because you kids don't deserve them."
There was a year that my uncle had gone out of his way to buy amazing presents for everyone in the family...this pissed off my mother so much that she insisted that my bother and I give them back.
I dreaded the holidays.
As I got older and was able to work (I had my first job at fourteen) I made sure to work every holiday. I would always be the first to take the longest and latest shifts in order to stay away from home as long as possible. Not only did this help me earn more money, it afforded me the freedom to stay away from the family as much as possible.
Christmases were fine when it was kept small...just my Grama, my bother, and me...add anyone else to the mix and it was a recipe for disaster.
By the time I was on my own at seventeen, I was managing a retail store in the Glendale Galleria so I had a perfect excuse why I wasn't going to be with family for the holidays. Coworkers, chatting about the holidays, would be asking each other "what are your plans for the holidays?" I was happy that I had excuses like "I have to work...," "I have to close," or "I have to be back to open at 5am." These excuses were enough to keep people from asking questions about my family.

By the time I was nineteen years old, I was dancing more and no longer working in the mall during the holidays. I was so lucky I always had gigs booked on the holidays. These gigs were always so much fun and we were always too busy traveling, rehearsing, dancing, sleeping, or staying out all night celebrating to ever discuss families. It was a great time!

Performing in the Andy Williams Christmas Show
at The Andy Williams Moon River Theatre
in Branson, MO

During my early years as a performer, both my mother and my Grama had already passed away, my brother was married, I was on my own and had no desire to discuss "family" and "holidays" with anyone.
By the time I got to Branson and was dancing in the Andy Williams show, it was the first time I began to feel as if I was a part of a family.
I was 24 years old.
It was the first time I had the opportunity to really enjoy the Christmas season with other people.
It felt good.
I was surrounded by kind people who knew how to make the most of any situation. They missed their families but also took the opportunity to embrace their "theater family" and share their generous holiday cheer with everyone around them. I learned so much from these wonderful people-many of them I still consider dear friends.
It was during the time I was in Branson that I purchased my first Christmas Tree and Christmas ornaments, and decorated my first Christmas tree. I still use the same teddy bears for my Christmas tree now that I used on that first Christmas.

The little bears I bought in 1996 while in Branson, MO.
Those are still the same ribbons I tied on them to make them look Christmas-y.
This is our Christmas Rosemary Tree today in 2012. 

When the Andy Williams show ended, I moved back to Los Angeles and happened to move into a little apartment above my high school sweetheart's Mother's house. It was during this time that I felt I had been welcomed "home."
Though I still had that "stay away from the holidays" issues and I was sure to have booked a catering job if I didn't get a performing one, I always had Christmas morning at Tina's to look forward to.

When I finally met my wonderful husband Andrew, I wanted to begin our own Christmas traditions.

Enjoying our first Christmas as husband and wife
in front of our little fireplace before heading off to
Tina Heinz's annual Christmas Eve Dinner

I couldn't wait to have Andrew come with me to Tina's house for her wonderful Christmas Eve Steak Pie Dinner.
It was once I was with Andrew that I realized how much I cherish Tina as family. Tina, her son Nick, his wife Bernadette, their children, Bernadette's siblings...these are people I see only  a couple of times a years but  they are people I love more than I even realized until I met Andrew and wanted him to meet my "family." They are my family as much as my brother is my family. They have always welcomed me. They have always welcomed everyone I've cared for. No strings attached. No questions asked.
Tina has been know for inviting random strangers to Christmas dinner and making certain they feel welcome.
One year when she heard me talking about two dance students from Japan who had nowhere to go for the holidays, she told me to invite them. Though they barely spoke English, she made sure they had a wonderful time.
I wish I had taken pictures of all our great Christmas Eve Dinners at Tina's. There is always so much going on, so much eating and talking that I have always forgotten to take pictures.
Tonight, I will remember to take pictures!

As far as traditions go, I know Andrew will work on Christmas morning...
It's totally fine with me...I completely understand him and respect his desire to work.
I will most likely go kayaking.

Had Christmas Morning 2012 all to myself
while kayaking along the coast from Newport Beach to Laguna

It doesn't get much better than this
Had Christmas Morning 2012 all to myself
while kayaking along the coast from Newport Beach to Laguna

Though our Christmases may not be traditional, they are filled with love and laughter. I am looking forward to creating new holiday traditions with my wonderful husband that will hopefully include opening up our home to others who just want to enjoy the holidays in a relaxed and welcoming place.

A picture from our tree last year 2011
We used this pic for our Christmas Cards this year

I have learned that my "family" consists of the people who I love and who love me too. My "family" consists of the people who I like a lot! The people I respect. The people who are respectful. The people who I am proud to have as friends. 

I cannot wait till dinner at Tina's tonight!

Happy Holidays Everyone!

:)

New Year's Resolutions

It’s time to take my own advice

For years, I have never "given up" anything as a resolution; instead I have always chosen to embrace a new challenge or an adventure. 

I will still find another adventure or challenge to tackle in 2013, but I have also finally decided to stop/give up doing some things.

Here is the first one:

I will stop putting energy into "friends" who come to me, seeking advice/help/motivation, then refuse to take it, yet keep coming back to me complaining about their life then seeking more advice.

Don't get me wrong, I am there for friends who come to me in order to vent, complain, and just bitch about a day...we all need a sounding board for our "moments." I'm "guilty" of venting and bitching too...I am human.  

My resolution is to distance myself from "friends" who continually complain, ask for advice, yet continue to do nothing to change things. It has become far too exhausting.

I will continue to save my energy and expertise for my productive clients-and of course my supportive friends.

Perhaps my clients respect my time more than the "friends" do since the clients are paying for it...In actually, my clients don’t want to waste their time and money talking about things. They want to do things! They want results! They want a happy, healthy, and productive life!

Don’t get me wrong, my clients and I talk…sometimes quite a bit. 

My clients have come to me, paid their hard earned money, put themselves in a vulnerable position by sharing their weakness with me and have asked for help. They don’t come to me to complain, they come to me for guidance. They take the advice. If I believe someone else can give them better advice in certain areas, I refer elsewhere and they go, they seek it, implement it, and thrive because of it.  They really want to do something to make the changes that make their lives better. That is why they are successful.

Since last year, I have not taken any new clients due to the fact that I've gone back to school full time. I have cut down almost 100% from seeing clients, yet I have continued to keep in touch with many. I do not charge my former clients when they call or write to me for advice because I know they respect it and utilize it, and they keep me updated on the successes that were a direct result of my advice and training. It is these amazing clients that have helped open my eyes in order to see how much I've continued to invest in people who have absolutely no respect for my time, experience, expertise in the world of health, fitness, and the care and prevention of injuries.

It is time for me to take the advice I have given to many clients over the years:

“It’s time to drop the dead weight in your life.

Only support those who are willing to work hard to achieve the things they desire!”

Whatever your New Year's Resolutions are, I wish ya'll a happy and healthy 2013!

:)

Melissa Adylia Calasanz

of

ControlledBurnFitness